


Still Standing

by westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist



Category: The West Wing
Genre: F/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2002-02-10
Updated: 2002-02-10
Packaged: 2019-05-15 01:33:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 21,856
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14781111
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist/pseuds/westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist
Summary: A sequel to "Great Expectations"





	1. Still Standing

**Author's Note:**

> A copy of this work was once archived at National Library, a part of the [ West Wing Fanfiction Central](https://fanlore.org/wiki/West_Wing_Fanfiction_Central), a West Wing fanfiction archive. More information about the Open Doors approved archive move can be found in the [announcement post](http://archiveofourown.org/admin_posts/8325).

   


 

**Still Standing**

**by: Allison**

**Character(s):** Josh, Donna  
**Pairing(s):** Josh/Donna  
**Category(s):** Romance  
**Rating:** TEEN  
**Summary:** Sequel to "Great Expectations" 

Josh expected to notice Donna when she came into work. He expected things might be a little strange. He didn't expect her to make it into the office and be practically leaning over him with a file by the time he noticed her. He also didn't expect the first thing he noticed to be blood on the palm of her hand.

"Donna!" he exclaimed, taking her wrist and turning her hand over so he could look at the cut on her palm. "What did you do?"

"I slipped on the ice on my front steps," she said, sounding a little irritated and trying to pull her hand away.

"There was no ice there when I -" He stopped dead.

She didn't seem to notice, or else she deliberately ignored the subject he'd just raised. "No, it snowed after you left, remember?"

"Right." He decided to try to tease her out of her mood, which sometimes worked. "Has a doctor seen that?"

She wasn't going for it. "It's a little scrape, Josh. It looks a lot like the ones on my back."

His eyebrows shot up and his tone rose. "The ones on your back?"

She was sorting folders and not looking at him. "I hit the steps. They're concrete."

"Were you hurt?"

She was definitely ignoring him now. The concern in his tone would have been hard to miss. "Josh, I fell down the stairs. I look like someone beat me with a hairbrush, but I'm walking and everything." Everything about her tone and posture suggested he should drop it now.

So naturally he didn't. He leaned toward her. "Show me."

That at least got a reaction. She whirled around and glared. "Excuse me?"

"You said you fell on your back. I doubt you could see any wounds you might have yourself, and I know you couldn't treat them properly if you did. I think you should let me have a look."

"Josh!" She sounded properly horrified.

"Are you bleeding?"

"Josh -"

"Are you bleeding?"

She paused. "Some."

He kicked the door, but she stopped it with her foot before it could slam closed. "No way," she said firmly.

"Donna -"

"You know what this is? This is harassment."

"Donna -"

"You just asked me to -"

"Are you going to sue me?"

She glared back at him. "Maybe."

"You want to let C.J. or Margaret have a look instead? 'Cause, you know, they were both pretty worried about you the other night. If you're having some kind of problem I'm sure they'd like to know about it."

Silence fell. "That's blackmail," she said finally.

"Take it or leave it."

She kicked the door shut herself. It slammed hard. Without a look or a word she turned her back and pulled her shirt out of the waistband of her skirt, but she left it hanging for him to move himself.

He approached her carefully, knowing she was angry and not really sure why (although he had an idea) and needing to let her know that he cared - but not in his usual clumsy way. He first swept her long blonde hair over one side, brushing his hand lightly across her shoulder blades as he did so. She managed not to respond. He very gently lifted her shirt up over her back, wincing as it exposed livid red scratches on her pale skin.

"Donna, some of these are still bleeding. You just did this this morning?"

"Yes," she replied stiffly.

"You're bruised. Did you put ice -"

"I was on my way to work, Josh. I didn't stop to -"

"Okay." He lowered her shirt carefully. "Stay here, I'm going to go get some wet paper towels." Thankfully, she obeyed. He returned as quickly as he could and gently dabbed at the oozing scrapes on her back, wincing himself at every hiss of pain. "Done," he said finally, lowering her blouse again. "You did a pretty good job on yourself, there."

"You would know," she shot back, tucking her shirt back into her skirt.

"Okay," he said, his calm finally breaking. "That does it. What is the matter with you? And don't give me that look like you don't know what I'm talking about. You're in a worse mood today than you were -"

"The other night?" she countered. "No, the other night I was just crying all over you. Would you prefer that?"

"Frankly both of them confuse the hell out of me!" Probably not the smartest reply, but he was having trouble thinking clearly.

"What does any of this have to do with me falling on the ice?" she asked.

"Nothing. You slipped, you fell - that's not the issue and you know it."

"Then what is?"

"You wouldn't let me be concerned about you, but that isn't the real issue either."

"You going to tell me -"

"Yeah, I am." He paused for air. "And you're right. I shouldn't have left."

"Josh -"

"I shouldn't have left. I left before you woke up and I shouldn't have done that."

Donna took a deep breath. "No, you shouldn't have."

"I know."

"Why did you?"

There was silence between them for a long while. He raked his hand through his hair nervously. "Because I didn't know what else to - I thought it would be less weird."

She faced him squarely with her hands on her hips. "Josh, you've stayed over before. You stayed over last week! You've never felt the need to sneak out on me before."

"Yeah, but when I stayed over before..." He trailed off.

"Yes?"

"It was because of my window, or because I was drunk, or - because you were taking care of me." He let that hang in the air for a moment. He hadn't actually realized what he was getting at until the words were out.

"So you thought this was different because it was me?" She was looking at him now with an open curiosity. "You thought it might be weird because I was the one who..." She couldn't finish.

He frowned, trying to express this without sounding corny or melodramatic. "You've never needed me before. I thought - I was afraid you might feel funny about it."

Her eyes narrowed. "You thought I might feel funny about it?" The wrinkles in her brow smoothed out and she said quietly, "And I always - never mind."

He took a step toward her, frowning more deeply when she stepped back in response. "You always what?"

"Nothing, I -"

"You always what?"

She took a deep breath and strove for a casual tone. "I always need you, Josh." She let that sink in for a moment before adding, "But don't let it go to your head."

He was, and sounded, stunned and as if he didn't actually know what he was saying. "Never."

She nodded slowly, then turned to go.

"Donna."

She faced him again, looking as if she would rather be anywhere else at that moment. "Yes?"

He bit his lip nervously and began to gesture wildly with his hands as he did when he had to say something he didn't want to say. "I've woken up in your apartment before. I've woken up - on your couch, with your cats, whatever. I've never -" He remembered to lower his voice so that the entire Wing wouldn't overhear. "I've never woken up with you in my arms before. And yes, it freaked me out. Not in a bad way, but it freaked me out."

She studied him carefully. "Okay."

Well, she wasn't running for the hills or throwing things. Yet. "Should I have let you?"

"Let me what?"

"Should I have let you - wake up, with me?"

Donna paused. "I don't know," she said finally.

He looked back at her. "Okay."

She nodded as if that had been a question. "You have Leo in five minutes."

"Okay," he said softly. On his way out the door he turned back to her. "Are we all right?"

After a second she offered him an ironic half-smile. "We're still here."

He smiled back. "Yeah."

ml>  



	2. Still Standing 2

 

**Still Standing**

**by: Allison**

**Character(s):** Josh, Donna  
**Pairing(s):** Josh/Donna  
**Category(s):** Romance  
**Rating:** TEEN  
**Summary:** Sequel to "Great Expectations" 

* * *

When Donna returned home that night she found that the front steps of her building had been thoroughly shoveled and then salted. She paused for a moment, looking up at the landlord's window - the eighty-five-year-old landlord's window - before heading inside and picking up the phone.

He had been home for about ten minutes, since he lived closer to the White House than she did.

"You had someone salt my steps?" she said without preamble.

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"Josh -"

"Okay, I had the kid across the street do it."

Donna frowned, tucking the phone into her shoulder so she could make herself a cup of tea. "The kid across the street."

"Yeah, you know, the kid. Blue hair, goes to the public high school."

"Joshua, how do you know my neighbors?"

He blushed on the other end, glad she couldn't see him. "I met him outside the other day. He was out smoking when I left your apartment."

"So, you called a juvenile delinquent from the White House to get him to shovel my steps?"

"He's not a delinquent, Donna."

"Nevertheless . . ."

"His name is Ryan."

She hopped from one foot to the other impatiently. "That's great, Josh."

"He's very nice."

"Right." She paused. "Anyway - thanks."

He paused as well. "You're welcome." He hesitated for a second before asking, "Are you still sore?"

She stretched her back experimentally and winced. "Yeah, a little."

"You should put some ice or something."

"I kind of have a vendetta against ice at the moment," she cracked. "Besides, where would I put it?"

He considered. "I don't know. I guess that would be a little awkward."

"I'll be fine," she said. "Stiff, but fine."

"I'm a little worried about the next time," he said.

She frowned into the receiver. Since when was he worried about - well, anything that didn't concern him or the national security? "The next time?"

"Yeah, the next time the same thing happens and you get all banged up."

"Josh, I am not suing my eighty-five-year-old landlord."

"I don't think you should sue, no."

"I don't believe you even thought of it."

"I didn't, you did."

"Oh, and you weren't thinking of it?"

He considered this. "Okay, so I'm always thinking of it. But just a little."

"Lawyers."

"Hey."

"And since when did you get so - I don't know," she shifted the phone to her other shoulder. "Protective?"

He shrugged. "I'm a guy, it's what I do."

"Whatever."

All of a sudden Josh said, "Oh, no."

"What?" Donna asked, alarmed.

"Um . . ." He shifted his weight nervously. "Donna, if I asked you to, could you rehash what I've been saying to you since I picked up the phone?"

"What?"

"Just repeat back to me everything I've said. Only what I said."

She held the phone away from her ear and gave it a puzzled look. "Okay. You mentioned meeting the delinquent when you left my apartment the other morning, then you asked if I was still sore, you said some stuff about ice only it would be awkward, then you said I shouldn't sue, you said you were always thinking about litigation -"

"No," he interrupted with a painful look on his face. "I said I'm always thinking about 'it.' Just 'it'."

"Okay," she replied, still not getting the problem. "Then I asked why you were being protective and you said it's what guys do. Oh, and I left out the part where you asked about next time."

"Uh-huh," he groaned.

"Josh, I don't get it."

"Well," he said, faking cheerfulness, "I'm not exactly alone here. Sam and C.J. came over."

"Okay," she said slowly, still not understanding.

"And," he said, not taking his eyes off C.J.'s very interested and horrified face, "It just occurred to me that my half of this conversation is going to require some explaining." C.J. nodded at him, eyes wide.

"It is?" Donna asked. "Tell them I said hi."

"Donna says hi," he repeated weakly. "Think about it," he told Donna.

She thought about it. Then she burst out laughing. "Oops," she managed to choke out.

"Yeah, they especially enjoyed the part about 'next time,' I think, and how I'm always thinking about 'it'," Josh said, still looking at his friends.

"Well, have fun!" Donna said happily, hanging up the phone before he could protest.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

"Not a word," Josh commanded as he set down his briefcase the next morning.

Donna looked up from her desk. The corners of her mouth started to twitch. "I didn't say a thing."

"You're laughing at me."

Her shoulders were starting to shake. "No, I'm not."

"You're laughing at your incredibly kind and considerate boss who got himself into this position by looking out for your welfare."

"I'm really not," she insisted, about a half-second before she lost control and had to cover her mouth with both hands while she bent double laughing.

He stalked back out into the bullpen and paced back and forth in front of her. "That took a lot of explaining, you know."

"You're blaming this on me? I wasn't responsible for your remarks."

He stopped pacing and glared. "I'm sure there's a way I can blame this on you. I just haven't thought of it yet."

She looked up and opened her mouth, then thought better of it. "So, they bought it?"

He sighed dramatically. "It took some work."

"So you've managed to conceal our torrid affair for another day?"

"I'm telling you, there was effort involved." He saw the gleam in her eye and got suspicious. "You're gleaming." This had to be bad. "I just failed to deny that we were having a torrid affair, didn't I?"

Donna grinned. "Yes."

"And you said that, I'm guessing, because C.J.'s right behind me?"

"Yes."

He didn't turn and look. "So what you're saying is, I really should have addressed the 'torrid affair' portion of that remark."

"Yeah, pretty much." She got up quickly and headed into his office, trying to control her laughter. "I'll get your schedule. Hey, C.J."

He turned and grinned at his friend. "Hey there, C.J."

C.J. smacked him upside the head. From inside his office Donna heard him grumble, "I swear, I am not sleeping with her! I'm not sleeping with anyone!" She had to slam her hand over her mouth to cover a shriek of laughter.

He stormed into the office a minute later, slamming the door hard behind him and giving her a dangerous look.

"Hey," she said calmly.

"Not a word."

"Okay." She paused. "But under the circumstances, do you really think you should have closed the door?" His panicked look almost started her off again.

"Give me my schedule."

"Okay. You have staff at eight -"

"How's your back?"

She stopped. "What?"

"Your back. Seriously, how is it?"

"It's fine."

"You're sure?"

"I'm sure."

"'Cause you keep rubbing it."

"It hurts," she said calmly. "It's fine."

"Let me see."

"No."

"It's been a day, it should be healing, let me see."

"So C.J. can walk in here while you've got my shirt up? I don't think so."

"Donna -"

"And why all the concern all of a sudden?" she asked curiously.

"It's not all of a sudden."

She raised an eyebrow. "It really is, Josh. You're acting weird."

"I'm not acting weird."

"You're acting really weird."

"I'm not acting weird! I left your apartment without talking to you, the next time I saw you you were hurt, I'm concerned, that's -"

"Josh," she interrupted. "Is this guilt? Is that what this is?"

"Guilt?"

"Because if you're thinking that I wouldn't have fallen if you'd stayed longer, I'd like to remind you that it snowed twelve hours after you left my apartment. I fell coming to work an entire day later."

"I know that."

"Then why are you freaking out on me here?"

He paused and finally shrugged.

She nodded. "Well stop. You have staff."

"You're okay?"

"Josh -"

"All right, all right." He hesitated with his hand on the door. "I did feel guilty about leaving."

"We talked about this yesterday," she reminded him.

He nodded. "Yeah. I have staff."

"Yes you do."

He nodded one more time and left the office.


	3. Still Standing 3

 

**Still Standing**

**by: Allison**

**Character(s):** Josh, Donna  
**Pairing(s):** Josh/Donna  
**Category(s):** Romance  
**Rating:** TEEN  
**Summary:** Sequel to "Great Expectations" 

* * *

On his way out of the staff meeting Josh was startled by a hand on his waist. "Walk with me," C.J. requested, steering him toward her office instead of his.

"Look," he began, "I explained all the -"

"It's not about that." She pulled him into the office and closed the door. "Well, okay, yeah, it is. But not really," she added before he could comment. "It's about Donna."

He sighed and settled himself into her visitor's chair. "C.J., the last time we had a conversation about Donna you told me she had a crush on me."

"She does."

He waved his hand absently. "And maybe she has a little crush, but that's all. A very little crush. Like the one I had on Olivia Newton-John when I was eighteen."

She grinned and gave him a suggestive look over the rims of her glasses. "Olivia Newton-John?"

"Shut up."

"I really don't think we can compare Donna's feelings for you to your crush on Olivia, Josh."

He shook his head. "She's twenty-six, C.J. I'm nearly forty. I'm her boss. Like you said before, I gave her a chance that she desperately needed. Begged for, even. And we flirt sometimes. It's the way we are - and I admit, it can be - intoxicating. But any feelings she might have for me are just that - a crush."

C.J. leaned forward in her chair. "What happened when you went after her on New Year's, Josh?"

He swallowed hard. "What do you mean?"

She continued as if he hadn't spoken. "'Cause, as Toby loves to point out, sometimes I think of things later. And one of those things is that you explained why you were asking about Donna being sore, but you never explained why you were leaving her apartment in the daytime when you went over there at approximately twelve-thirty AM."

He wondered idly whether it was possible to order the human body not to sweat or blush.

In the pause, C.J. pulled off her glasses and looked at him with her kindly face. He could never resist the kindly face - he highly doubted that anyone could. "I'm not asking as the press secretary so I can yell at you, Joshua," she said gently. "I told you the other day I was worried and I still am."

He took a deep breath and shifted in the chair. "She told me that she left the party because she was - for lack of a better word, depressed. That isn't what she said, but that was the general gist." He looked up at C.J. appealingly. "She was lonely. I stayed the night to keep her company. But nothing happened. Nothing would ever have happened."

"She told you she was lonely?"

"Yes," he replied quietly. "Sort of. Not in so many words."

"What else did she say?" she asked in that same gentle tone.

His fingers fidgeted on the arms of the chair. "She said she had expected this year to be different, because of all the things that changed."

"All the things that changed?"

"I asked her what she meant by that." He looked away from her penetrating gaze. "She avoided the question."

"Josh -"

"I admit, for a while there I thought you were right, that she had feelings - but no, I don't think -"

"What else happened?" C.J. interrupted. "What else made you think I might be right?"

He tried his best to glare severely. "Don't we have work to do? Like running the country or something?"

She smiled sympathetically, which he hated. "Five minutes won't kill anyone. What else -"

"Okay," he broke in. He sighed. "The way she said that - about things changing - made me think of what you said. So I asked her..." He hesitated, embarrassed. "I asked her if she needed me."

C.J. pressed her hand to her heart. "Sometimes you actually say the right thing."

"Yeah, well. She said yes."

C.J.'s eyebrows shot up. "And this wasn't a clue to you that..."

He shrugged. "I thought so. Anyway, so I stayed." His voice cracked a little on that last word. C.J. gave him her best suspicious look. He caved under pressure. "Okay, there was a little more to it than that." She raised her eyebrows in mute questioning and he mumbled a reply under his breath.

C.J. just about fell out of her chair. "Could you repeat that? 'Cause it sounded like you said you carried her to bed and slept in it with her."

"That is what I said," he moaned, one hand covering his face.

"Joshua!"

"I asked!" he retorted. "I left it up to her. The final decision was hers. And really nothing happened. We shared the bed, but it was totally innocent."

"So, you went to bed and neither of you said another word?" She was understandably skeptical. Josh and Donna were so seldom quiet together - in fact, never - that any silent moment between them would have to be intimate in the extreme.

He rubbed at his forehead uncomfortably. "I kissed her."

"Where?"

"In bed."

"That's not what I meant."

"On the lips."

"You said -"

"It was completely innocent, C.J.! It wasn't a high school makeout session. I kissed her, she kissed me back a little, it was really short, we went to sleep. End of story."

C.J.'s smile had returned. "She kissed you back, huh?"

"Okay, so that's why I thought you were right."

She was trying her hardest not to look smug. "Okay."

"That, and the fact that she was holding my hand."

This time her eyes closed and she leaned her head back, obviously worried all over again. "Josh, that's a woman who's in love with you."

"She's really not."

"Then how do you -"

"She was lonely, I'm her friend, I was there. I was a warm body, C.J."

She looked at him intently. "How do you figure that?"

"Because nothing has changed between us. I mean, it was a little weird there for a second when we had to talk about why I left without waking her, but we're just going on as usual. Or rather she is. She seems completely unaffected, whereas I can think of nothing else. And that, my friend, I can definitely blame on you."

"If it makes you feel better." She smiled at him again, this time the sad smile she usually reserved for the retreating back of Danny Concannon's head. "What are you thinking?"

"What am I thinking?"

"You said you could think of nothing else," she repeated softly. "What are you thinking?"

He shook his head in total helplessness. "I don't know. I don't know."

"You admitted to me that you had some feelings for her."

"Yes, I did." He sank his head into his hands. "They're not any clearer now than they were then."

"So -"

"This is crazy." He stood up abruptly and headed for the door. "We're talking about my assistant here. And I love her like an assistant, like Sam loves Cathy or for that matter like you love Carol. Anything else is just insane." He closed the door hard on his way out.

And ran smack into Toby. "Hi," Toby said, clearly trying not very hard to hide his concern.

"Hi."

"Everything okay?"

Something made Josh pour out, "C.J. thinks Donna's in love with me."

Toby nodded slightly, his usual enigmatic look on his face. "She is, Josh," he said quietly. He turned and headed down the hall without another word, leaving Josh staring in wonder.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

When Sam wandered into Josh's office after speaking with Toby at the conclusion of the staff meeting, he was surprised to find his friend's assistant sitting at her boss's desk. "Hey, Donna," he said cheerfully.

Donna looked up with a ready smile. "Hey, Sam."

"What are you up to?"

She shook her head. "Josh stayed late last night and got to the files again. It'll take me half the morning to put them back in order." She looked up from her work solicitously. "Do you need him?"

"Nah, I was just bored." On his way out he turned. "Hey Donna? Josh mentioned you'd hurt your back -"

"It's fine," she said. "I slipped on some ice. Josh - is having some issues, none of which involve me I hope, but which are making him obsess over my scrapes and bruises."

Sam came back and sat across from her at the desk.

"Oh no," Donna said, laying down her work completely. "We're going to have a talk, aren't we?"

"Uh-huh."

She sighed. "What's he done?"

"Well, I was hoping you'd tell me."

She gave him a quizzical look. "What do you mean?"

Sam raked a hand through his hair, not comfortable with broaching this subject. "On New Year's you were upset about something, and he went after you, and now he's obsessing over your back and having people shovel your steps and you - sound like you're trying really hard to sound normal."

Her eyebrow lifted. "I don't sound normal?"

"You're faking it. Something's up."

"Nothing's up, Sam."

"It is."

"It's really not."

"Did he stay over again?"

"What?" Her anxious tone gave her away thoroughly. He repeated his question as a formality.

"Did Josh stay over at your place again?"

Her resigned look came over her face, the one she adopted when she was forced to concede a point. Sam would have no way of knowing this, but Josh secretly referred to it as the yes-my-boyfriend-was-older expression. "On New Year's he did."

"All night?"

"Yes." She had also adopted that signature rapid-fire delivery that she used as a defense when asked uncomfortable questions.

"Did anything happen?"

"No."

"Donna."

"Not really."

"Donna."

"He kissed me. Once. Then he left in the morning without waking me and he's been uncomfortable around me ever since." She stopped and exhaled sharply. "Okay?"

"Okay," Sam said quietly. He stood. "I know things are kind of weird -"

"They're not weird, Sam. We're just still a little off-balance from the ATVA thing."

"Right." He had one hand on the doorknob. "I just wanted to say, you know, if you need me..."

She smiled gratefully. "Thanks."

Sam leaned into the door preparatory to opening it and nearly fell through it when it opened seemingly on its own. "Sam!" Josh exclaimed, startled.

Sam, with his usual complete inability to hide anything, said nothing but looked nervously from Josh to Donna and back and then hightailed it out the door.

"What is wrong with people?" Josh said rhetorically, forgetting that the object of all this confusion was the other person in the room.

"You're asking this now?" Donna quipped, glad to hear his normal tone. "You have a meeting with Congressman - hang on, I have it."

He stopped her, reaching impulsively for her hand. "Donna, hang on a second." 

Her eyes widened. "Oh, my God. You got fired."

"I did not get fired."

"You're sick."

"I'm not sick."

"What is it?" She squeezed his hand in what she hoped was a supportive fashion. "You can tell me. I can handle it. I'm here for you. What happened?"

"What makes you think something horrible happened?" he asked, his tone slightly amused.

"Because you're being - " she fumbled for the words. "It would be like me bringing you coffee," she said finally.

He dropped her hand, all amusement gone from his tone. "You're right. Why else would I ever - never mind."

"Josh?" She still looked concerned. "Are you okay?"

He nodded, turning away from her and heading for his desk. "Fine. It's really nothing you need to worry about. I'll see you later."

Consider yourself dismissed, she thought. Okay. "Sure." She pulled the door shut after her as she left.


	4. Still Standing 4

 

**Still Standing**

**by: Allison**

**Character(s):** Josh, Donna  
**Pairing(s):** Josh/Donna  
**Category(s):** Romance  
**Rating:** TEEN  
**Summary:** Sequel to "Great Expectations" 

* * *

Josh was looking out the window when his office door slammed hard. Very hard.

Without turning around he said, "I don't suppose that's Sam wanting to talk about Kazakhstan some more?" He was answered with dead silence. "Toby? Leo?" He paused. "At this point I'm beginning to think even C.J. wanting to kill me for something might be preferable to -" He was hit in the back of the head by a flying shoe. "Donna."

"I don't know why C.J. would want to kill you," she seethed, "but she's not going to get the chance. You know why?"

He kept his face turned safely to the window. Where he could yell for help if necessary. "Because you're going to get there first?"

"I am so going to get there first." Another shoe ricocheted off his back and he winced.

He turned around slowly, hands up. "You must be out of shoes by now, so I figure I'm safe." Oh. Oh. He couldn't resist. No one could resist. The corners of his mouth turned up. "Unless you've got another one in your skirt somewhere." Ouch. He had misjudged her distance from the package of index cards on his desk.

"I could absolutely kill you right now," she fumed, taking another step into the office.

"I'm pretty sure there are federal agents outside," he replied, backing away. 

"You're not the President. I don't think killing you would be a federal crime."

"You should take that up with the last guy who tried," he joked weakly.

"Do not pull that on me, Joshua!" she yelled, advancing further with her hands on her hips. "It's not going to work this time. Not after you deliberately humiliated me in public and *enjoyed it*!"

"I humiliated you?" he replied. "I would have thought you took care of that yourself when you gave a reporter your underwear." He ducked and covered his head as she hurled a doorstop wildly in his direction. "Missed that time, there."

"Did you have to do that out in the bullpen?" she asked, her voice dropping enough that he could hear real hurt and embarrassment under the screaming. "In front of Sam and C.J. and who knows who else? What horrible thing have I done to you today that you found that necessary?"

He was beginning to sense that he'd made a serious tactical error. "Look, Donna," he began, stepping toward her. "Whoa - don't throw that, I'm trying to apologize here." After she had reluctantly put down the TV remote he continued. "I'm sorry. I - thought it was funny. I really didn't think it would upset you that much."

"No, thinking seems to have had very little place in your actions," she retorted angrily. At least she'd stopped trying to kill him.

"Well, to tell the truth I wasn't thinking all that much," he replied defensively. "You know why? Because I was a little caught off guard. Believe it or not, usually when I get sent an envelope registered mail at the White House I don't expect it to contain my assistant's underwear!" He had rather forgotten by the end of that speech that it wasn't really her fault and his voice had risen. "I mean, God, Donna, for a second there I thought it was from some sleazy aide or something who'd seduced you so he could blackmail us."

She took a step back. It was interesting, he considered in the pause, how space functioned in their relationship. "You thought I would allow myself to be seduced by 'some sleazy aide' who wanted to blackmail us?"

He held up both hands again in a defensive posture. "Okay, Donna, fear is irrational. It was the first thing that popped into my head. And like three seconds later I read Karen's note and found out the truth."

"Which is that I clearly can't dress myself without creating a political scandal." Donna sank onto his couch and buried her face in her hands.

He began to suspect that she wasn't really mad at him so much as she was mad at herself and more humiliated than he'd expected. He approached the couch slowly. "Donna, it really isn't that bad. Karen Cahill's a hard nut to crack, but she's not vicious. I don't think it's in her plan for the day to publicly trash some poor assistant who was just trying to do her job." He sat down cautiously next to her. "Have you run out of things to throw?"

She gave a short, ironic laugh and nodded, her hand pressed tightly over her mouth. Some smooth work was clearly going to be needed here. He settled back on the couch, careful not to touch her. He looked, in fact, straight ahead at the wall in front of them as he spoke. "I really am sorry. I didn't mean to embarrass you."

Donna fixed him with a disbelieving gaze.

"Okay, I did. But only a little. No more than it embarrassed Sam when you teased him about falling down with Karen. I - was trying to joke with you, and I misjudged, and I'm sorry."

She looked up with a wry smile. "You're not just saying that because I'm sitting next to a box of staplers from the supply room?"

"No, I'm not - Jesus, Donna!" What she had said registered and he vaulted off the couch. "You got the part where I apologized, right?"

Her eyes crinkled up and she laughed. He sighed with relief. "Okay, you got me." He sat back down beside her and they stayed for a while in silence. Donna buried her face in her arms on the edge of the couch and rested there for a moment, just breathing and trying to calm herself down. Josh watched her when he knew she couldn't see him anymore. In all honesty, he had no idea what had been going through his mind. Things with Donna had been so odd lately - she'd been her usual sarcastic self, but it was the wrong kind of sarcasm. She had two kinds - the bantering kind where he got the impression she was trying to make him laugh, and the barely restrained anger kind where she just made him sound like an idiot. The sarcasm of the last few days had been more of the second type, and that made him uncomfortable. Donna only brought out the biting sarcasm when she was mad at him for some reason. That, coupled with the fact that lately Sam had been getting a great deal of the friendly bantering sarcasm from her, made him - displeased. He wasn't quite ready to admit to jealous, but certainly displeased. Where, after all, had Cathy been when Sam needed a fix on the Karen thing or an ego boost? Why did he need Josh's assistant?

Okay, he knew he was being stupid. Sam and Donna were friends, and had become more so lately. This was only natural. They were - were they actually closer in age than Sam and Josh? He calculated quickly. Seven years between him and Sam, six between Sam and Donna. Yes, they were closer in age. By a statistically insignificant amount, but - he could practically feel C.J. smacking him. Enough with the math. He'd been feeling a little left out, he didn't know what to make of Donna lately - or of their relationship, and he'd accidentally hurt her. This needed a fix.

He lifted a hand and hesitated. Bad idea or good idea? They weren't exactly touchy people - but then, the physical thing had probably been precedented by his spending the night in her bed. And kissing her. He pushed that thought right out of his mind and reached up to rub her back gently. "Donna?"

She didn't look at him, but kept her head buried in her arms. "Yeah?"

Some humor was clearly needed. "Put down the stapler."

He could feel her body shake as she laughed. Part of his conversation with C.J. the other day came back to him - she really did get into his head at the most inconvenient times. *Sometimes you actually say the right thing,* she'd said. Well, she was right. And after all, he was Donna's boss and basically a friend - yeah, they were pretty casual with each other, as the underwear episode so ably proved - it was only natural for him to be a little protective. He stopped rubbing her back and slid his hand up to her shoulder. "I really am sorry. And I'm sure it won't be a thing." When she didn't reply he bit the bullet and tugged on her shoulder, saying, "Come here."

She didn't resist and let him pull her into his arms, settling her head against his shoulder. "I promise to try not to humiliate you in public again," he said.

She narrowed her eyes at him. "You promise to try?"

"On the other hand," he continued as if he hadn't heard her, "that horrified look on your face was pretty cute."

"You're only holding me to keep me away from the staplers, aren't you?"

He took a deep breath. She was joking, but if he really wanted to know whether C.J. was right this was his chance. He tightened his arm around her just enough to be noticeable. "I'm holding you," he said after a pause, "because this is much nicer than fighting with Sam about Kazakhstan." He waited.

She took a deep breath. He felt her chest heave. "Really?" she asked in a small voice that was rather unlike her.

The possibility that she might, in fact, have a crush on him had actually begun to penetrate his mind. He decided more reconnaissance was needed. He reached up and stroked her hair back from her face. "Would I have kept you around all this time if I didn't love you?" he asked rhetorically, almost holding his breath and trying not to trip over the phrase.

Donna bit her lip, weighing her choices. He was either going out on a sincere limb here, or he was just being casual and, well, Josh. She decided not to take her chances. Humor always worked for them, anyway. "Josh, you've fired me thirty-seven times."

"Did I ever mean it?"

"I'm still here," she replied, her tone enigmatic.

He paused. "You counted?"

"It's actually thirty-nine if you count the times you were asleep."

"I fired you in my sleep?"

"Twice," she replied cheerfully. "Falling asleep on your desk really doesn't work for you."

He sat up straighter and turned her around so that she was facing him. "I want you to know I'm sorry," he said seriously, his arms still at her waist.

"For firing me?"

"No. Well, yes. For everything."

Her expression was a little confused, but she smiled. "Okay."

"Okay?"

"Okay."

"I'm forgiven?"

"For the underwear?" She grinned. "Not really. But I'm going to have much more fun punishing you now that I'm less mad."

He had to laugh, but the smile he gave her was a bit rueful. "That's my girl." And, he noted, he still had no idea how she really felt about him. But now he knew why. The way she had used humor to deflect his attempts at conversation told him a lot - it told him that she was too afraid he would laugh at her or reject her if she confessed to having even friendly feelings for him. That also answered an old question - why had she, when she'd obviously been quite upset by his shooting, behaved all that time only as his trusty assistant, rules and all, instead of admitting how devastated she'd been? If C.J. was right, it wasn't because she only thought of him as her boss. It was because it would take a lot to convince her that he thought of her as anything more than his assistant.

The question of the day was - did he?


	5. Still Standing 5

 

**Still Standing**

**by: Allison**

**Character(s):** Josh, Donna  
**Pairing(s):** Josh/Donna  
**Category(s):** Romance  
**Rating:** TEEN  
**Summary:** Sequel to "Great Expectations" 

* * *

When his phone rang about four minutes after he arrived home, Josh knew exactly who had to be on the other end. "C.J.," he said as soon as he picked it up.

She didn't even ask how he knew. "Schmuck."

"What've I done now?"

He could hear her impatient sigh on the other end. "Do I even have to tell you?"

"Probably not," he said resignedly. "Look, I apologized profusely already."

"You better have," she replied. "I thought it was funny when I thought we were laughing at you. Laughing at Donna's embarrassment - not so funny."

"We really have covered this," he said. "I apologized, we talked, she's going to punish me - very little change in the status quo here."

"You do understand all the many reasons why that was a stupid thing to do?" she asked, her tone indicating that she had been somewhat placated.

"Fully and completely." He shifted the phone to the other ear. "Admit it, C.J., in retrospect the whole thing is kind of funny."

There was a pause on the other end. "Did she really ask the President to call Karen and explain?" He could hear the amusement beginning to show in her voice.

"She made Charlie ask," he replied, fighting his own laughter.

"What did Charlie do to deserve that?"

"I don't even want to think about it," Josh replied sincerely. He was in danger of getting a bad case of the giggles, which he suspected would be highly undignified.

"Josh, is Karen -"

"Don't go into press secretary mode on me. No, I really don't think Karen Cahill is going to write a column about Donna dropping her underwear..."

"How could you apologize when you can't even say it without laughing?" C.J. asked.

"I have no idea." He calmed himself and asked finally, "Did you talk to Toby at all?"

"No," she said, her words suddenly becoming clipped and angry.

"Oh," he replied. "Maybe tomorrow."

"Maybe." It didn't sound like a promise.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

The next morning Josh arrived at work to find his desk already covered with paperwork needing his attention. Before he could open his mouth to bellow Donna came breezing into the office with another stack approximately the size of an average phone book. "What the hell is that?" he asked.

She set the stack down carefully on his desk and pointed to various piles in turn. "Nine o'clock meeting, Senator Ryan. Ten o'clock meeting, three Republican Congresswomen. Ten-thirty, that guy from the thing. Eleven-thirty, the people from the EPA. Twelve-forty-five -"

He held up his hand, stopping her. "Donna, when I left yesterday I had like two meetings scheduled for all day."

She looked up from his desk. "Yeah, you did," she said in that infuriatingly calm, chipper tone of hers.

"When did all this happen?"

"About midnight, I think."

He faced her over the desk. "I'm being punished."

"Probably."

"By Leo?"

"That would be my guess."

"For what, exactly?"

Her brow wrinkled in thought. "Probably for delegating to Sam in the first place. Or for the fire, or for yelling at him. Possibly all of the above."

He sighed heavily. "Right. The guy from the thing?"

"You know, the guy."

"From the thing."

"Right."

"That would be the tuition vouchers guy that Toby was supposed to meet with tomorrow?"

"Yes." She grinned cheerfully at him. "He got bumped up."

"You're really enjoying this, aren't you?"

She took a second to look suggestively at him over her shoulder. "Oh, yeah."

"I don't suppose you're enjoying it enough that you won't feel the need to punish me yourself?"

"I wouldn't get your hopes up."

"Right." He sat down and stared at the piles on his desk. "Which one was the nine o'clock?"

"The one in the middle," she yelled back from the bullpen.

"What time is it?"

"Four clocks on the wall," she reminded him.

"Can't see them."

"Get up and look!"

"You're fired!"

"Forty!" she yelled cheerfully.

He leaned forward so he could see her. "I just wanted to get us to a nice, round number."

"I appreciate that, Josh."

"I thought you might." He found himself sliding his chair over just enough that he could watch her work from his desk. Oblivious to his scrutiny, she sat carefully typing a memo, pausing periodically to hit the backspace button several times in rapid succession. Actual secretarial skills were not among her many talents - but she did such a neat job of organizing his life that he'd never thought to complain. Well, not often. The end result was usually okay, so he saved his complaints for her handwriting.

Donna. He laid down the file he'd been reading and watched her unabashedly, a thoughtful smile playing across his face. She'd been occupying much of his thoughts lately, and he couldn't quite pinpoint where it had started. Probably with C.J., he decided. It was always better when he could blame something on C.J. anyway, but her advice on New Year's had started the whole thing in motion - without her he might never have looked twice at Donna dancing with Sam, wouldn't have been so over-aware of the way he held her, touched her, might not have followed her home when she fled the party and might not have spent the night with her. And therefore would not have kissed her. Right. Because much as he tried to push it out of his mind, explain it away, explain away her reaction - there were times when he looked at her and could still feel her lips on his. He'd been so concerned with why she'd kissed him back that he hadn't given much thought to why he kissed her in the first place.

Because he wanted to. He shook his head, not sure of what was happening. He couldn't deny that he'd wanted to kiss Donna that night - or that he'd wanted to kiss her once or twice since then. They'd always had that flirting thing going on, as C.J.'d pointed out and probably everyone had noticed, but he'd never before felt such a tangible attraction between them. A bond. That's it, he thought. We have a bond.

That was almost scarier than realizing they had chemistry.

So. They had chemistry, and they had a bond - there was a connection that had been slowly building between him and Donna that he couldn't keep ignoring now that it had been brought to his attention. They were linked. He leaned back in his chair, watching her fingers move over the keyboard and pondering this concept. Linked. Did that mean, though, that they should be together, or just that they should be friends? He closed his eyes and tried to imagine himself with Donna - not physically per se, but in a *relationship.* He tried to picture going home with her at night, having dinner with her, ordinary nights lounging on the couch, being allowed to touch her - *allowed*? Where had that come from? It implied that he wanted to -

He swallowed hard. All right. Time to take stock here.

*Have I just fantasized about my assistant? Yes. Do most bosses do this at some point? Sure. Do most guys, when they do this, fantasize about commitment more than they fantasize about sex? Probably not. Am I thinking about sex now? Okay, yes. Is this bad? Not necessarily. After all, most guys could fantasize quite happily about almost anyone, right? I mean, for all I know something could set me off fantasizing about - Margaret, for example.* Pause. *Okay, that didn't work. So it's just Donna? Seems that way. All right.*

He shuffled some papers around, trying to look busy in case anyone walked past the open door of his office. *I have a meeting in - half an hour. Wait, no, damn - fifteen minutes. I need to stop - I need to resolve this. Fine. Big question - could I see myself having a relationship with Donna?* He tried very hard to sabotage this idea. *Damn. Yes. I could.* Oddly, he thought Donna might be just eccentric enough herself to be a perfect match for him. *Okay. Would she drive me crazy? Yes. Would I enjoy it?* She turned, caught him looking at her, and gave him a quick smile before returning to her work. *Oh, yeah.*

He buried his head in his hands. *I have a crush on my twenty-six-year-old assistant. This can't be good.*

"Senator in fifteen, Joshua!" she yelled from her desk, oblivious to his reverie.

"You know, Leo's going to be getting back at me for weeks," he started almost by reflex.

"Oh, I'm still going to punish you," she replied, smiling calmly at her monitor.

*You know, when she said that yesterday it didn't sound at all dirty.* He laid his head on the desk and groaned. *I need to kill C.J.*


	6. Still Standing 6

 

**Still Standing**

**by: Allison**

**Character(s):** Josh, Donna  
**Pairing(s):** Josh/Donna  
**Category(s):** Romance  
**Rating:** TEEN  
**Summary:** Sequel to "Great Expectations" 

* * *

"Donna! I feel like I haven't talked to you in days."

Donna looked up from the papers she was photocopying and smiled at Margaret. "You haven't. We've been busy."

Margaret made a face. "No kidding. I don't think Leo left at all last night, and Toby's been in and out all day."

Donna turned her back to open the copier and change the originals. "In and out having meetings, or hiding from C.J.?"

"Anybody's guess?"

They exchanged looks and grinned. "Seriously though," Donna said, biting her lip, "have you seen C.J. today?"

Margaret nodded. "She looks - well, she looks like yesterday was rough."

"Yesterday was rough." Donna opened the copier again. "What astonishes me is that Josh managed to stay out of all of it. Well, except for the fire the other night. But yesterday he was the least of everyone's problems."

"I hear you can't quite say the same," Margaret teased.

"Oh, God, don't." Donna's face reddened. "I've gotten it from everybody else."

Margaret startled her by laying a hand on her shoulder. "How are you doing? Are you okay?"

Donna turned and gave her a confused look. "Yeah, sure. I mean, it was embarrassing and I am going to kill my boss, but it wasn't that bad."

"I don't mean that." Margaret had abandoned all pretense of having a work-related reason to be there. "I mean just generally."

"Generally?" Donna shrugged. "I'm fine."

The other woman frowned, leaning against the wall. "I was just kind of worried about you before New Year's and all..."

"Margaret, I'm fine. Go back to worrying about Leo, would you?"

"Donna, what's going on with you and Josh?"

Despite her current state of denial and the non-progress of their relationship, what came immediately to Donna's mind was the night they had spent together and a deep flush spread over her face. "Between me and Josh?" she bluffed, cursing her fair skin. "Why would you ask that?"

"Why are you blushing?" Margaret returned, looking closely at her.

"Nothing's going on," Donna replied, turning back to the copy machine and trying to hide her burning face.

"Donna..." Margaret leaned against the copier, effectively keeping Donna from distracting herself. "On New Year's -"

"Nothing happened!" Donna interrupted, panic beginning to set in.

Margaret looked taken aback. "I didn't think it did."

"Oh."

Her friend seemed to reconsider. "Did it?"

"No!" Donna pushed hair impatiently behind her ears. "So what were you going to -"

"I was going to ask if it was about him."

"If what was about him?"

"Your - problem." Margaret shifted uncomfortably. "Were you upset that night because of him?"

Donna finally faced her and stopped fidgeting. "Not really."

"But some?"

She nodded reluctantly. "Some."

Margaret looked around to make sure no one was within earshot before she asked, "Donna, do you - have feelings for him?"

Donna's eyes widened innocently. "For Josh? Please."

"Donna," Margaret said sternly.

"Okay, I mean, I like him of course," she amended. "And I care about him as my boss - like you and Leo - well, you know. But I don't have *feelings* feelings for him."

"You're sure?"

Donna's heart pounded hard in her chest. *Am I?* "I'm sure," she replied with a certainty she didn't feel.

Margaret nodded and turned to leave, but changed her mind and paused for a moment. "You know, he was really worried about you."

"That would be a switch," Donna cracked, trying to pretend she didn't know exactly what Margaret was referring to.

"I just think -" Margaret paused as if making up her mind. "I just think if there is - something - you should tell him."

"There isn't something."

"Okay."

Watching Margaret head back toward Leo's office, Donna rested her head against the wall and mindlessly punched setting buttons on the copier. *Feelings for Josh. I knew they were all thinking it around the time of the shooting - I'm not that unobservant - but no one's ever accused me of it out loud before. I wonder if the whole West Wing thinks I'm in love with him. God, they probably do.* The copier screeched to a halt and she began with a weary sigh to tug out the jammed paper.

*I mean, not that there's anything wrong with Josh.* She paused mid-tug. *Okay, there are some things wrong with Josh. But it wouldn't be like a stupid thing to be in love with him.* Another pause. *Not an entirely stupid thing, anyway. He is occasionally nice. When he remembers to be. And he has a good heart somewhere underneath that ego.* He probably still thought she never knew about the NSC card - the one that would give him safety in the event of a nuclear strike. Little did he know Ginger had overheard both Josh's conversation with Sam about their relationships with their assistants, and his later conversation with C.J. *She's right, sometimes he is really sweet.* Her face reddened all over again as she thought of his actions New Year's Eve. She'd felt like an idiot - and she had definitely placed some blame for her mood on him - but he'd made an effort. He couldn't help the fact that she'd been expecting something that wouldn't come, but he'd held her and listened to her without passing judgement of any kind. *Oh my God. I do have feelings for him. What am I, stupid?*

*Wait. Let's be rational here. I don't feel any different about Josh today than I did yesterday, or any of the days before that. I've always cared about him. This is silly. Feelings for him don't have to be romantic.*

*Then what was I thinking on New Year's?* She had pretty much given up on pretending that she hadn't expected him to kiss her, because she had - or at least she'd hoped he might. Somehow after the shooting, and the summer they'd spent basically together, and the tempestuous Christmas Eve they'd shared, she'd expected - well. No use dwelling on that now. *The question is, does wanting him to kiss me that night mean I have feelings for him?*

*I'm afraid it might. Especially since he did kiss me, and I kissed him back. And I liked it.*

*And Margaret thinks I should tell him? Yeah, sure. 'Hey Josh, I just thought, you know, since your ego needs some boosting, that I'd let you know I'm in love with you. Feel free to use this to your advantage or, you know, just laugh at me a lot.' Sure. Right.*

*Actually, I don't think he'd laugh.* She thought ruefully of his nervousness that night at her apartment, about his unwillingness at first to touch her the night before in his office, about his complete unawareness of her feelings. *He'd freak out. He'd probably have me reassigned.*

*I work in the White House, and I have a thing for my boss. This cannot be good.*

*Wait. I mean, obviously this didn't happen overnight. You don't wake up one morning in love with your boss. I've cared about him for a long time. Why should it be any harder now? No, things can just go on exactly like normal. No reason why anything has to change. He doesn't know - he may be the only one, but he doesn't know - and he won't.* With new resolve she slammed the copier shut. *Not until he's come to his senses and realized he's in love with me.*

*And that could take a while.*


	7. Still Standing 7

 

**Still Standing**

**by: Allison**

**Character(s):** Josh, Donna  
**Pairing(s):** Josh/Donna  
**Category(s):** Romance  
**Rating:** TEEN  
**Summary:** Sequel to "Great Expectations" 

* * *

"No."

He leaned over her desk, trying to charm her. "It's a very small favor."

She glared expertly. "Do I need to remind you that the last time I did you a very small favor -"

"So keep your underwear on and it'll be fine."

Her glare deepened, if possible. "Sam."

"You know, you could be construed as being in my debt. Seeing as how I asked you to clear up the Karen Cahill thing and you didn't actually succeed in doing that."

"And what, may I ask, did I owe you in the first place that I was obligated to perform this initial favor?"

Sam backed up an inch or so. "Have you ever thought about going to law school?"

She laughed harshly. "I'd have to finish college first."

"Seriously. You'd be good."

"What you mean is, I have the capacity for being just as anal retentive as you are?"

"Basically."

She gave in and allowed him a smile. "What's the favor?"

"I love you, Donna."

"I didn't say I'd do it, I just asked what it was."

Sam settled himself on the corner of her desk. "I met this girl -"

"No, Sam."

"You don't even know what I want."

"I will not ask her out for you."

"That's not it."

Donna gave him a probing look. "What about Mallory?"

"She's still with Richard."

"So you're giving up?"

"I'm expanding my options."

She pretended to frown seriously. "If I go to law school, will they teach me how to say the same thing six different ways?"

"Way more than six."

"What's the favor?"

He grinned as if already sure he'd won. "She wants to go out with me, but an old friend from college is in town."

Donna suddenly caught on. "No."

"She showed me a picture. He's cute."

She hesitated for a fraction of a second. "No."

"He's a professor."

"I don't go on blind dates."

"It wouldn't be a blind date, I'd be with you." Off her surprised look he said, "She doesn't want you to entertain him alone, she suggested I invite a friend and we all go to dinner together." At this new information she seemed to be wavering. He leaned in close again. "Please, Donna?"

She threw up her hands in resignation. "Fine."

Sam's face lit up with delight. "Great." He dove forward and took her face in both hands to kiss her forehead. "Tomorrow night. Eight. I'll make sure you get out."

"Whatever." She shook her head as she watched him bounce away. "The things I do for you, Samuel."

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

"Since when do you need blind dates?"

In all likelihood he'd meant that as a compliment, but she was tired of giving Josh the benefit of the doubt. "I don't," she replied haughtily. "It's a favor to Sam."

Fighting hard against the familiar wave of jealousy sweeping through his entire body, Josh turned back to his papers so that she couldn't see his face. "What, the college professor isn't tempting?"

"I know as much about him as you do," she replied enigmatically. "Sam's waiting for me. I'll see you Monday."

"Wait."

She turned in the doorway, holding the door open with her foot. "What?"

"Will you call me tomorrow?"

She sighed. "I always do."

"'Kay."

She nodded. "Bye."

"Donna."

"Yes?" she asked, her tone exasperated.

He nodded stiffly. "You look good."

A flicker of something appeared briefly on her face, but it was gone before he could decide what it meant. "Goodnight."

"Goodnight."

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

"And then there was the time we went skinny-dipping in the fountain on the quad..."

Over the sounds of raucous laughter Donna turned to Sam and whispered, "Is our presence really required here?"

He smiled indulgently at her and sipped his drink. "They haven't seen each other in a while. You know how Josh and I get."

She looked at him quizzically. "Did you and Josh swim naked together?"

Sam just about choked. "Okay, no." She dissolved into silent laughter and he kicked her firmly in the shins.

"Sam?"

He looked up at the mention of his name. "Adam."

The other man smiled winningly and asked, "Would you mind terribly if I stole Carrie away for a dance? For old times' sake?"

Only Donna noticed that Sam's smile was forced and abjectly false. "Of course not. Be my guest."

As Adam led Carrie toward the dance floor Donna leaned over and whispered, "So did you and Josh dance together too, or -"

"Shut up."

Her smile faded and she pulled her chair around so that she was almost beside him instead of at a corner. Together they watched Adam and Carrie dance for a moment, before Donna said, "They look pretty cozy."

"Yes, they do," Sam said tightly.

Her hand brushed his arm. "I'm sorry."

"Yeah." His eyebrows lifted and he rubbed his face tiredly. "It was probably a bad idea anyway."

"Picking someone up when you still have a crush on Mallory?"

He didn't even bother to hide it. "Yeah."

She scooted her chair over further and leaned her head on his shoulder. "I'm sorry," she said again.

"Yeah." He patted her leg for a few seconds and then suddenly straightened up, pulling her with him. "Come on. Let's at least make a good showing."

Her smile reappeared. "Okay."

He led her to a spot on the floor fairly near to Adam and Carrie and they fell comfortably into position - his arm around her waist, her hand at the back of his neck, their other hands clasped over his heart and her head on his shoulder. "Donna?" he asked softly after a moment.

"Hmm?"

"I'm glad you're here. Thank you for being with me."

She smiled and squeezed the hand she was holding. "You're a good guy, Sam."

The apparent non sequitur didn't disturb him in the least. He leaned his cheek against her hair and watched Carrie dance with the man she'd been flirting with all night. "If you had a chance to get your college boyfriend back -" he began.

"I'd castrate him with my bare hands."

His eyebrows nearly reached his hairline. "Okay. Obviously non-comparable situations."

"I'd say so."

He liked Donna for being Donna. He loved her for her loyalty to his best friend, for her loyalty to all of them, for her inimitable manner and indestructible spirit. Tonight he adored her for distracting him. He pressed a gentle kiss to her forehead and turned his eyes from Carrie and his thoughts from Mallory.

When they all said goodnight, Carrie pulled Sam aside to apologize. Before she could speak he stopped her. "Don't. I understand. Sometimes you don't know what you want until..."

"Until you know?" she supplied with a friendly smile. "Yeah. Thanks, Sam." She nodded toward Donna, who was saying perfunctory goodbyes to Adam. "She's pretty special."

"She is, but it's not like that," he said, watching Donna. "She's - well \- you know how you feel about your best friend's wife - or in your case, your best friend's husband? Kind of like a brother-in-law?"

"Sure," she replied.

He nodded. "It's like that."

Her brow furrowed in confusion. "She's your best friend's wife?"

"No," he corrected hastily. "She's my best friend's assistant. But they have a - relationship."

"A relationship?"

"A bond," he further clarified.

"Oh." He suspected she didn't really understand. "Goodnight, Sam."

"Goodnight. Adam," he called, "it was - nice. Goodnight." He wrapped an arm companionably around Donna's waist and walked her toward the parking lot. "So," he said, "what have we learned tonight?"

"Denial sucks," she answered.

"Yeah." He pulled her a little closer. "Cold?"

"No."

"Okay." At her car they stopped and he turned to face her. "I want to say thank you again."

"You're welcome," she said sweetly.

"Not just for coming with me. For - you know - being there."

She nodded. "You were there, too, Sam."

"Was I?" They both knew his question had nothing to do with his geographical presence and everything to do with her state of mind.

She nodded again. "I may have been able to live without the professor," she began dryly, reaching out to tug at his lapel, "but I think I needed you."

Her admission touched him, as no doubt it was intended to do, and he swept her into an affectionate embrace. "Then I guess it all turned out okay. You gonna call Josh tomorrow morning?" he asked from her shoulder.

"Yeah," she said as they pulled back. She knew very well how much her tone of bittersweet resignation revealed.

He nodded. "Okay. I'll see you."

"See you." He waited to get into his own car until he saw her safely pull away.


	8. Still Standing 8

 

**Still Standing**

**by: Allison**

**Character(s):** Josh, Donna  
**Pairing(s):** Josh/Donna  
**Category(s):** Romance  
**Rating:** TEEN  
**Summary:** Sequel to "Great Expectations" 

* * *

Josh wasn't really listening to a word the lobbyists were saying until one of them suddenly said, "Wait, is that your assistant?"

He looked up, startled, and saw that Donna had just walked past his open door and settled at her desk. She'd been down with Margaret when the meeting began and hadn't been there to greet the visitors. "Yeah, that's Donna," he said, confused as to why it should matter.

"It's just - I met her last night," the lobbyist replied.

Josh looked up as federal funding for undergraduate research suddenly became fascinating to him. "You met Donna last night?"

"Yeah," the lobbyist admitted. His nametag read Adam D. Barclay. Adam. "I went to dinner with my old college girlfriend and her date, and he brought Donna along to even things out, except - well, Carrie and I sort of rekindled our - whatever." Not comprehending the look on Josh's face he added quickly, "But don't worry. If you want to know the truth I think she has a little thing for the guy who brought her anyway - Sam something. And they make a pretty striking couple."

"Yes, they do," Josh echoed mindlessly. Donna and Sam? He'd thought there was nothing...

"Anyway," Adam continued, oblivious to Josh's distraction, "let me tell you what our students have been doing..."

Donna and Sam? Had Sam actually brought her to dinner intending to wind up with her instead of what's-her-name? No, Sam wouldn't plan a subterfuge that elaborate. He was a pretty confident guy, if he wanted to ask Donna out he'd just ask her. Donna and Sam. Well.

They did make a striking couple. Both tall and slender, blue-eyed, young, stylish, both with those ready, easy smiles - he decided he'd better stop before he became ill. There was nothing between Donna and Sam.

All the same, when his meeting was over he decided to make a subtle stop at Sam's office. "Hey, buddy," he called nonchalantly from the door.

Sam looked up from his laptop and smiled. *Yup, there it is.* "What's up?" he asked Josh.

"Just saying hi." Josh dropped onto the couch. "So - how'd it go last night?"

Sam rolled his eyes. "Carrie and her 'old college friend' were better friends than I thought."

"She ditched you?" Josh asked in faked disbelief.

"Pretty much." The ironic look was replaced, though, by a small, pleased, highly disturbing smile. "But it was okay."

"Okay?" *Please, don't let him say it.*

"Yeah." The smile hadn't faded. "I mean, Donna was there."

"Donna?" Josh's disbelief hadn't faded either. "Your date ditched you but it was okay because *Donna* was there?"

"She was very sweet."

"My Donna?" *Sweet*?

Sam's eyebrow lifted. "I'm not going to comment on that."

"She didn't, like, mock you into complete degradation?"

"No, she saves that for you." Sam grinned and turned back to his work. "C.J. wants this in an hour."

"Right." Josh made his stunned way out of the office.

"Hey, Donna," he called as he approached her desk, shooting again for nonchalance. "What's up?"

She eyed him suspiciously. "Nothing that wasn't 'up' when I saw you last half an hour ago."

"How was last night?"

She rolled her eyes in a gesture eerily reminiscent of Sam's. "Sam's girl was completely flirting with the friend she brought. They went home together."

"The professor?" he asked.

"Don't be smug. I told you I was only doing it for Sam anyway."

"Sam. Yeah." Right. "So, that left you and him, huh?"

"Yup." Her cheerfulness was terrifying. "We chatted."

"What about?"

"Not you, so don't worry."

"I wasn't."

"Sure," she replied smoothly. She stopped what she was doing and faced him crisply, gearing up for one of her trademark lectures. "We spent a great deal of quality time together and actually it was very nice. And I would like to point out that my apparently horrible taste in men clearly doesn't apply to friends. Sam was a perfect gentleman as always and we had fun."

"Okay."

She didn't like his tone and followed him into his office. "What was that?"

"What was what?"

She leaned against the door frame. "Josh, that's the way you sound when you're about to turn around and tell me I'm an idiot."

"Well, I wish I could tell you how you sound when you do the same thing, but I can't. You know why? Because you tell me I'm an idiot all the time!"

"That's my job," she replied calmly.

"He slept with a call girl, Donna!"

She stepped back unconsciously. "That was an accident, and I don't see what it has to do with anything."

"Just - you should know Sam by now, that's all I'm saying. Just watch it." He barely knew what he was saying, the idea of her and Sam was driving him so entirely insane.

"Watch it?" He knew he was in trouble when she kicked the door shut. "Josh, he asked a favor, I said yes, he got ditched, we danced, we talked, we went home. That was it. I don't know what your problem is -"

"I don't have a problem."

"He held me, Josh." Her voice had dropped in volume and sincerity replaced the sarcasm. "He was a friend, and he held me. That's all that happened, and that's all I needed. He's in love with Mallory, and I'm - I -" She broke off and started again. "This is not a thing - and it's not really any of your business. I don't know why I'm telling you this." She shook her head and turned to go.

"You're what?" he asked softly.

"What?"

"You said he's in love with Mallory, and you're - what?"

"I -" Her eyes met his for a long moment, and then she broke the contact and opened the door. "I'm not in love with him." She slipped out and pulled his door shut after her.

Josh had a long time to think that afternoon, after everyone had eaten a hasty order-in dinner together and dispersed to their own offices. Sam and Toby were holed up together, C.J. was busy, Leo had recruited Donna to help Charlie and the President with something, and the bullpen was quiet. By the time Donna returned, he had settled on at least one immediate course of action.

"Hey," she said as she breezed into his office. Their earlier conversation seemed not to have stayed with her at all. "All taken care of."

"Good," he said. She didn't seem to notice either his flat tone or the way he was watching her.

"Are you still meeting with the university people?"

"No." He cleared his head quickly. "By the way, one of the university people was Sam's date's friend." Great grammar there.

She looked surprised, but not particularly interested. "I guess that's why he was in town." She didn't think to ask how he knew that Adam was the date's friend. She figured they must have run into Sam.

"Donna?"

"Yeah?" She looked up briefly from assembling his calendar for the next day.

"I've been thinking about what you said earlier."

She frowned. "What did I say earlier?"

"Um..." This was distinctly uncomfortable. "About Sam being what you needed, last night."

She suddenly looked equally uncomfortable. "Okay?"

"I just -" He shifted and stood up finally, sort of pacing around the desk and the office. "I was thinking back to New Year's -"

"Not again, Josh."

He looked carefully, but her expression was unreadable. "No, let me - I was just thinking about, you know, what you said then, about needing me - and it occurred to me that maybe I haven't really been what you needed lately." He met her eyes nervously.

"Josh, this is a bizarre conversation," she said, trying to shake it off before it got out of control. "We don't do this."

"Maybe we should." He took advantage of her surprised silence to add, "I mean, the fact that we don't always talk about things doesn't mean you can't come to me with - whatever."

The quiet was so loud that he could hear it. She finally broke the ringing in his ears by saying quietly, "Okay." Then she turned and left the room.

"Damn." He pounded his hand on the desk and exhaled heavily. *Blew that one.*


	9. Still Standing 9

 

**Still Standing**

**by: Allison**

**Character(s):** Josh, Donna  
**Pairing(s):** Josh/Donna  
**Category(s):** Romance  
**Rating:** TEEN  
**Summary:** Sequel to "Great Expectations" 

* * *

"You're bringing me coffee?" He looked up from his laptop in total confusion. 

Donna grinned. "Don't get excited; I have an ulterior motive." She sank into his extra chair and leaned over the desk. "Did you know that Josh thinks we're dating?"

Sam nearly spit out the coffee he'd just drunk. "Are you kidding?"

"No."

"Are you kidding?"

"Sam! No, I'm not kidding."

He carefully set the cup down on his desk. "Josh thinks you and I are dating."

"Yes."

"You? And me? Is he on crack?"

A touch of irony crept into her smile. "Wow, thanks, Sam."

"You know what I mean." He closed the laptop, his attention completely drawn away from work. "He thinks we're dating because of the other night?"

"I guess." She frowned seriously. "He's kind of freaking out."

His expression matched hers. "Freaking out?"

"Yeah. He gave me this whole speech about watching myself, and then he -" Suddenly she wondered whether it might be best to keep some of that conversation to herself. "He seemed to be concerned that he was supposed to be doing something that he wasn't doing. For me. Which is weird, because -"

"- Usually he wouldn't know that somebody wanted something from him unless they chiseled it on his forehead," Sam finished. "But do you?"

"Do I what? Chisel things on his forehead?"

"Want something from him."

"Other than a raise?" Her smile faded. "What would I want from him?" Her heart pounded so loudly in her chest that she was afraid Sam might actually be able to see her chest moving.

He only looked at her and raised his eyebrows suggestively.

"Sam!" she exclaimed in horror. *Please, please don't let him ask.*

He laughed. "Okay. You know I just like to mess with you."

"Right." The thing was, she knew that, but she knew something else too. She knew that Sam saw - something - in the way she talked to, and about, Josh. She knew he understood more than he maybe thought he did. And she knew it wasn't really just teasing when he kidded her about Josh. She suspected that Sam was trying to trick something out of her.

Maybe that wouldn't be so bad. After all, she knew about his feelings for Mallory. Sam was a good friend. Maybe he could -

Sam had the biggest mouth in the White House. Maybe after Margaret. Discussing this with him would not be a good idea. He would freak out at having his suspicions actually confirmed, and in his panic he would run immediately to Josh and tell him everything. Not a good plan.

Maybe she could tell Sam and then - what? Kill him? Also not a good plan.

She sighed heavily. What to do, what to do...

"Donna?"

"I'm in love." She froze and all the color drained from her face as she realized she'd spoken aloud.

Sam positively beamed at her from across the desk. "That's great! I was worried that - well, never mind. Who is it?"

"Um..." Her hands were cold. In a second she'd start to shake. She did not handle direct confrontation well. She was also, as Josh had divined almost immediately, a terrible liar.

"Donna?" Sam just looked concerned now. "You did just say you were in love, right?"

She nodded weakly. "But it's - not good." She meant, this is not good, but he heard only what she had spoken.

"Not good? What, is he married?"

"No," she murmured without any increase in either strength or conviction.

"He's a Republican?"

She almost laughed. "No, it's not a -" She didn't bother to finish the sentence, but as usual Sam misunderstood what it was that her crush was not. His horrified look almost matched hers earlier.

"Oh my God, you're in love with C.J."

"What!" she exploded. That did produce a laugh. "No, I am not in love with C.J. Don't worry, she actually isn't my type."

"Well, I didn't think so, but..." There really was no good way to finish that sentence.

"No, it's just - can we not talk about this right now, please?"

Sam gave her a sympathetic look. "Okay. Sure. Just, you know, if you want."

"Sure." She stood slowly and tried to give him a smile. "I better go find Josh."

He met her eyes and she didn't look away fast enough. "Oh, Donna." The pity in his voice told her all she needed to know.

"It's not a big deal," she said, shaking her head.

"Not a big deal?" He'd risen from a tenor to a soprano, which would have been funny if she weren't so terrified of exposure. "Not a big deal?"

"It really - just - please, Sam. Just please don't say, or do, anything. To anyone. Please?"

He nodded. "Okay."

"Okay." She took a deep breath. "Josh," she said, fortifying herself for the encounter as she opened the door and slipped through it.

He wasn't in his office. She was just settling in his chair to sort through the papers on the desk when she heard someone coming and looked up. "Sam," she said, surprised. "I thought you'd be Josh."

"I thought you'd be," he replied. "I just wanted to..." His face was red.

"Sam," Donna said, drawing it out into several syllables, "you weren't coming to talk to Josh about anything in particular, were you?"

"No," he gulped unconvincingly. Sam was almost as bad a liar as Donna.

"You remember what I said I'd do if I ever saw my college boyfriend again?"

Now he paled. "I think I should - go - now."

"I think you should," she replied smoothly. Now that she had him properly terrified she was less worried. "He'll be back any minute and I highly recommend you're not here when that happens. I know where you live."

"Right." He brushed a section of hair off his forehead and tried to look calm. "I'm gonna go."

At the door he stopped. "Donna."

She only glared menacingly.

"It's not about that," he assured her. "It's - you know how we said - um \- never mind."

She stood up and came around the desk. "No, what?"

He glanced nervously over his shoulder at the halfway open door and dropped his voice. "I called her."

"You called Mallory?" she repeated incredulously. "I never thought you actually would. What happened?"

"He wasn't there."

"Well, that's positive," she replied encouragingly. "What did she say? No, wait - what did you say?"

"I said I wanted to apologize again for not calling her after - you know. And for having to ditch her at the concert to, you know -"

"Run the country?" Donna supplied.

"Yeah."

They shared a smile. "So?" she prompted.

"She accepted my apology."

"That's what she said?"

"She said, 'I accept your apology, Sam.'"

"Okay."

"I asked her about Richard."

"Okay," she said again, waiting.

"They're still together."

"Did you think they wouldn't be?" she asked gently.

He shrugged, looking completely dejected. "No. It's just that - well - when we were talking, at the concert, before C.J. interrupted us, she seemed - she seemed like she might be hitting on me."

"Well," Donna said, trying to sound helpful, "maybe she's just waiting to see how you feel before she does anything drastic."

"Sorry?"

She tried again patiently. "Maybe she's not willing to give up what she has until she's sure that you want something."

"Do women do that?" he asked.

She rolled her eyes at his naivete. "Yes."

"Are you sure?"

The look that came over her face was teasing and sad all at the same time. "Positive."

"Sorry," he said, catching on at once. She waved off his concern, but he stepped forward without even a glance at the bullpen and caught her up in his arms. "Thank you for listening," he whispered into her shoulder, "and about the other thing - I'm sure it'll work out eventually."

"You think?" she asked, not entirely either serious or sarcastic.

"I do," he said, laughing a little for no real reason and rubbing her back affectionately. "I really do."

She pulled back, still with her hands on his upper arms and his on hers, and said, "It's just - it's been a long time, you know?"

He understood what she meant, even though she hadn't been specific. "Yeah. I know. Me too." She quirked her eyebrow at him and he clarified, "Anybody serious, I mean."

"Okay," she said with a small smile. "I'll accept that."

"No, you know what I'm saying," he said, absently taking her chin between his fingers as he would his little sister, "It's different with somebody you're really - invested in."

"True," she nodded. "Definitely true."

"And it's hard - I mean -" He shook his head a little. "You're the only person who wouldn't laugh at me for talking about this, you know? It's hard to go for a long time without being really close to somebody. You miss it."

"I really know what you mean," she said sincerely.

"I should say stuff like this to Mallory, huh?"

"You really should," she agreed. "It would probably work better than 'like there are no pictures of you with a call girl.'"

He laughed and smacked her playfully. "Shut up." Then he stopped laughing, still with a broad smile, and looked at her for a moment. "Donna? Can I -"

He didn't finish the question, but she understood what he was asking and the sentiment behind it. Her fingers tightened on his arms. "Sure."

He bent forward a fraction of an inch, and she offered him an encouraging smile. He returned it and leaned in the rest of the way, closing his eyes and pressing his lips gently to hers. Her arms wrapped around his neck and his slid down to her waist as they both remembered how good it felt just to be close. The kiss deepened more than either had intended, but still stayed on the cautious side of actual passion. He reveled in the feel of her lips on his, her hair under his fingers, but it was never so much sexual as intimate, an expression of love that was not necessarily romantic. When they pulled away both were flushed, but their smiles were affectionate and friendly and not shaded with even the hint of desire. "Thank you," Sam whispered, sliding his hand down to take hold of hers. "I needed that."

"Me too," she replied honestly. Then she grinned. "Call her."

He laughed. "Yeah." Then he looked up and the expression on his face took a huge turn for the worse.


	10. Still Standing 10

 

**Still Standing**

**by: Allison**

**Character(s):** Josh, Donna  
**Pairing(s):** Josh/Donna  
**Category(s):** Romance  
**Rating:** TEEN  
**Summary:** Sequel to "Great Expectations" 

* * *

"Could you not do that in my office?" Donna whirled around at the sound of her boss's strained voice, suddenly understanding Sam's horrified look.

"Josh," she said unnecessarily. "We weren't -"

"I don't care," he replied flatly. "Just don't do it in here. Sam has an office."

His face darkening at the implication, Sam started, "Josh, you don't -"

"I don't want to hear it," Josh interrupted. "I have enough to worry about right now without my best friend using my office for -"

"Stop it!" Donna practically screamed. Both men looked at her in surprise. "Joshua, there is no good end to that sentence so just quit while you're ahead. Sam, there's nothing you can do here. Go. I'll handle it."

Sam backed up in surprise, but was not at all adverse to her taking charge. "Are you sure I shouldn't..."

"No, I should," she replied. "It's okay, go."

When the door had closed firmly behind him she turned furiously on her boss. "Now. You. What you saw - was nothing. It was a friendly kiss. Nothing else. We were complaining about our mutual unrequited love and then we kissed - you know why?" she asked as the perfect words suddenly came to her. "Because we love each other. Not romantically, but we do. And we're not afraid to let each other know that." She saw each word hit home and knew she was on the right track to - something.

"So that's not unrequited love for each other?" he asked weakly.

She faced him squarely, hands on her hips. "Fulbright Scholar? If it was for each other it wouldn't be unrequited, would it?"

He had to agree that she had a point. He was about to ask, with a sinking feeling in his stomach, who it was that she was in love with, but she kept going.

"And you know what else? I have really no idea where you get off acting like such a jerk about this in the first place! Even if Sam and I were involved, what right would you have to be angry about it? It's not like you ever - " She broke off with a frustrated groan and started pacing around his office.

The abrupt end to her sentence intrigued him, but in typical Josh fashion he was stuck on the least important thing she'd said. "I'm acting like a jerk?" he echoed in disbelief.

She rounded on him sharply. "You better just count your lucky stars I cut you off earlier."

"You don't know what I was going to -"

"... 'without my best friend using my office for' - what? A tawdry fling? A White House sex scandal? A roll in the hay?"

He flinched at the harshness of her words. "Okay, you're pretty close."

Her voice dropped again and she stopped in front of him but several yards away. "I know you wouldn't have been able to forgive yourself if you said anything like that to Sam or about me - and I may not have been able to forgive you, either."

That hung in the air between them for a long, agonizingly silent few moments.

"I wouldn't think of you as somebody's tawdry fling," he said finally, quietly.

She thought for a moment with one eyebrow lifted and when she spoke every word stabbed. "'If you want to have sex you'd better do it during dinner'?"

He closed his eyes against her hurt expression. "I was teasing."

"Were you?"

"I was out of line."

"You were."

"I'm sorry." He opened his eyes finally and looked at her.

She nodded. "Yeah."

"I get the impression you don't believe me."

She considered. "I believe you're sorry that I'm mad at you. I'm not sure you're sorry for the things you said."

He thought hard. Neither moved. "I am." He nodded back at her. "I jumped to conclusions about you and Sam and I acted badly, and I'm sorry."

"That's it?"

"What do you want?" he nearly exploded, remembering belatedly that she was the one who needed to be placated.

"I want to know why you acted that way," she replied coolly.

He stopped. "I was upset."

"Sam's your best friend and I'm your assistant. You like us both. So which one of us isn't good enough?"

"It's not like that," he said, feeling his control slip. "I - I don't know why I - not everything has a reason."

"Everything has a reason," she countered. She sounded angry and sad and disappointed and curious all at the same time. Her eyes pressed him for an answer.

"You don't give me much credit for emotional capacity," he said finally. "You said I like you and Sam? I like you both? But you love each other? I know, I know," he said as he saw her about to protest, "as friends. Donna..." He raked a hand through his hair and looked her sincerely in the eye, fighting his discomfort. "I love you both. Okay? Don't - don't ever doubt that. I love Sam, and I love you. That said," he turned away from her nervously, "that said, I can't explain what made me so angry."

"You can't?" Now she just sounded resigned, and that was somehow worse.

"I -" He looked back at her almost over his shoulder. She was standing in the middle of his office with her arms crossed so tightly over her chest that she was practically hugging herself. Her long hair was pulled back from her face but spilled loosely over her shoulders - that and the simple cardigan she wore made her look particularly young and vulnerable. Her eyes were shining and she was pressing her lips firmly together. The encounter - fighting with him - had been hard on her, he could see that. She looked exactly as she had on New Year's right before she'd started to cry, and he wanted nothing more than to cross the room in two steps and take her in his arms. He also knew that he couldn't do that, not now. He lifted a hand to his mouth, formulating his words carefully.

"Donna," he said, buying time while he thought. One hand flew unbidden to his heart as he spoke. "All I know is that I walked into my office and saw you kiss Sam, and my heart was in my throat. And I know that you and I have not been right together for a while now. Not since long before Christmas. We haven't been the way we used to be. And," that lump returned to his throat, but he pressed his hand to his chest and forced the words out, "I don't know what you need. Once - one time - you told me, and I tried to be there. You know, you -" He got off topic, looking at her and shaking his head in admiration. "You take such good care of me, Donna. But that's because you know what I need."

"I told you, I'm in tune to you," she said, trying to interject some humor and, by extension, some normalcy.

He smiled, but continued undeterred. "What I mean is - obviously, you need something that I'm not giving you." He started to pace again. "What I've been thinking about lately is, why all of a sudden do I feel like I should be the one giving it to you - when we've only ever had a working relationship? And I have - not the whole answer, but part of it." He stopped and faced her from a safe distance. "Part of it - the easiest part - is that we're connected, and we have been for a long time. And anyone else coming into that I feel is intruding - no matter who it is. That said," he couldn't look at her expressionless face anymore and turned away, "for - for whatever reason I want to be the one who's able to provide support, or friendship, or whatever it is that you need right now. But if I can't -" He took a deep breath. "If I can't do that for you, and Sam can, then I want him to take care of you. Because I want you to be getting what you need."

Donna took a long time to process that. "Sam," she said finally, "accepts me, flat out, the way I am. There's nothing at stake with Sam. I know how he feels about me, and I know that won't change." She licked her lips nervously. "I'm not sure how you feel about me. And it seems I'm not the only one," she added with a trace of laughter. "You don't know how you feel about me, either."

He offered her an apologetic, ironic look. She acknowledged it with a nod and continued.

"So it's easy for me to tell Sam what I need, because I know he'll be a friend and there won't be anything weird about it. If I - with us - I think it would change things about our relationship."

"Are you afraid I would brush you off?" he asked gently. "If you asked me to be there for you?"

"You have," she replied quietly.

He closed his eyes again. Sam had probably never told her that he didn't care about what she did in her spare time. "Donna - things have changed with you and me since then," he began, and then he stopped suddenly. His mind flashed back a couple weeks, to Donna's couch in the middle of the night:

'What do you mean, all the things that changed?'  
'I don't know what I mean.'

That was what she'd meant. She'd meant that after the shooting, after she'd taken care of him, she'd expected their relationship to change. She had to know that it had changed - didn't she?

He realized he had left her in the middle of a thought. "You know what an insensitive jerk I can be - and I think you also know that I pretend not to be interested in your life as part of that safe boss-assistant thing we've tried to keep under control. But I don't care for you less than Sam does."

She nodded very slowly. He could tell that she was deciding whether to say something. After a moment, she made up her mind. "I said a while ago that I always need you," she said quietly. She spread her hands, putting it all on the table. "Do you want me to? Because I can either be a friend or a burden, but not both."

"You could never be a burden," he whispered almost reverently. "I need you. And I want you to need me." He felt a bit dramatic - under most circumstances he couldn't imagine himself saying these things - but a lot of things that he thought went without saying apparently needed to be said.

"Not just Sam," she said in reply. She sounded a little teary.

He was lost. "Sorry?"

"I don't love just Sam," she clarified. "I love you, too."

"I know," he said in wonder. It came as a surprise to him that he actually did know that. C.J.'s speculations aside - he didn't know whether it was romantic love, but he did really know that Donna loved him. He could feel it in everything she did.

She only looked at him from across the office, but she didn't miss the way his eyes lit up when he said that. "Good," she replied.

As he spoke, he stood in place but very slowly opened his arms. "I'm not Sam, but I'm trying."

She hesitated for only a second before walking into them and burying her face in his shoulder. "I'm sorry I yelled at you," she murmured, her voice sounding even more teary than before.

"I deserved it," he replied, rubbing her back. "As usual."

"I'm going to remember you admitted that."

"And I'm going to regret saying it, I can tell." They both tightened their embrace, wanting to hold on for as long as possible. He tilted his head and kissed her twice on the forehead, then found himself to his wonder admitting, "I don't want to let go of you."

In response her arms tightened even more around him and she whispered, "When you came home from the hospital?"

"Yeah?"

"That's exactly how I felt."

"You never told me," he said, beginning to understand more and more.

"I didn't think it mattered."

"It matters."

She didn't miss the present tense. But reluctantly she pulled away from him, feeling the cold air hit her where his body had been. "It's the middle of the morning," she reminded him, wiping at her eyes.

"Right." He smiled at her. "It's been a rough day already, huh?"

She met his eyes with a smile of her own - a real one, this time. "We can handle it."

"We can," he agreed. "We're survivors."


	11. Still Standing 11

 

**Still Standing**

**by: Allison**

**Character(s):** Josh, Donna  
**Pairing(s):** Josh/Donna  
**Category(s):** Romance  
**Rating:** TEEN  
**Summary:** Sequel to "Great Expectations" 

* * *

"I'm going to go apologize to Sam," Josh said, looking guilty.

"No, you're not," Donna replied. "Not until I talk to him."

He gave her a look that told her things were mostly back to normal. "Donna, I can handle apologizing to my best friend without your help."

"No, you can't," she said smoothly. "Because if he still thinks you're mad at him he'll get all defensive before you can say a word, and he'll wind up insulting you in what he thinks is self-defense and then you'll get mad at him and forget that you went there to apologize for getting mad at him."

He paused, looking at her critically. "You realize that made no sense?"

"You know I'm right."

He sighed. "Yeah."

A moment later found her knocking on the door of Sam's office. He looked up from his desk with concern. "Donna," he said, clearly pleased to see her but a little worried as well, "come in. Sit." As she closed the door and sat down to face him he leaned closer and peered at her. "Have you been crying? Oh God, what did he do?"

"Nothing," she said with a little laugh. "He's fine, he's - he wants to apologize to you. I said I wanted to talk to you first."

"Running interference?" Sam asked with a glint in his eye. She could only laugh and nod. He got up and came around the desk to sit beside her. "I'm - a little surprised this was such a big deal between you two."

She shrugged. "There have been a lot of issues between us lately. This just kind of - broke the bank, I think."

He took her hand and laced his fingers through hers palm-to-palm. "So everything's okay with you now?"

"More or less," she agreed. He gave her a questioning look. "Well, you know."

"So you didn't talk about it?" he asked softly.

"We're not going to talk about it," she replied, pulling her hand away and standing up. "There is no 'we.' He wants to be my friend, and not just my boss, and that's it. I mean, that's something, though, right?" She raised her eyes to Sam's. A multitude of words passed unspoken between them, and then she nodded and opened the door. "He's coming to see you," she tossed back as she left.

Josh stuck his head through the crack in the door, looking sheepish. "Hi."

"Hi." Sam smiled encouragingly. "So Donna says you're offering to be my slave for a year out of guilt, is that right?"

"Absolutely." Josh slipped all the way in and flopped on the couch. "I don't know what -"

Sam held up a hand. "I know. It's no big deal."

"It's not you," Josh tried to explain, "it's -"

"It's her," Sam finished.

"Yeah," his friend agreed, throwing up both his hands helplessly.

Sam practically ignored him. A look of growing realization was spreading across his face. "It's her," he repeated in complete amazement. How had he never seen it before? He really had thought along with Donna that the whole thing was one-sided. How utterly blind. "It's not me and her, it's anyone and her," he said in wonder.

Josh sat up straighter on the couch. "Hey."

"No - I'm right, aren't I?" Sam gaped at him, a shocked smile beginning to form.

"I don't know what you're implying -"

"Josh, you didn't sound like an admonishing boss back there, you sounded jealous," Sam said, all the pieces finally falling into place. "That's why you got so mad at me and Donna - because you were jealous and you didn't know why. And since I don't think you're pining over me..."

"That's ridiculous."

"Hey now," Sam said, his brow wrinkling. "No need to get personal." 

"Not that ridiculous thing, the other ridiculous thing," Josh corrected impatiently.

"Oh." Sam sorted that out for a second, then looked seriously back at his friend. "Josh, do you have feelings for her?"

Josh tried to laugh that off without much success. "Please. Anyway she's in love with someone."

Sam's eyebrows shot up. "She told you that?"

"You're not the only one she talks to," Josh retorted. Then his face cleared. "Oh God. I'm sorry." He stopped for a moment. "I do sound jealous, don't I?"

"Yeah," Sam replied.

"God."

"Did she tell you who she was in love with?" he pressed.

Josh shook his head and leaned back in the couch. "No." He laughed shortly. "Just that it wasn't you."

"There are only two of us here, Josh," Sam said quietly.

It took a moment for the implications of that statement to sink in. Josh shook his head again vehemently. "She didn't say, 'I'm in love with either you or Sam and it's not Sam,'" he said humorlessly. "It could be anyone in the greater DC metro area."

Sam grinned. "I don't know, I did some recon..."

Josh sat up, interested. "And?"

"It's not C.J. either."

Josh threw a pen at him. "This is serious."

Sam sobered immediately and gave him a penetrating stare. "Is it?"

"Yes," Josh admitted openly.

He made a snap judgement, and if Donna killed him later, so be it. "She's been in love with you for ages, Josh. And the reason she never told you is that it's serious. It's not a little crush with her, especially since..."

"The shooting," Josh nodded. That seemed to be the theme of the day, all right.

Sam nodded. "She - she loves you so much that she doesn't even know what she wants from you. And it's heartbreaking. And every now and then she slips and I see that. She's covering it up pretty well, but..."

"She'd kill you for telling me this."

"Yes."

"Why are you?"

Sam leaned forward, taking his life in his hands. "Because you feel the same way about her."

"I really don't," Josh insisted.

"Josh..."

"What?"

Sam's gaze had gone from penetrating to piercing. "Would you be willing to tell her that?"

He paused before replying, "No."

"Because you wouldn't want to hurt her, or because it wouldn't be true?"

Josh propped his elbows on his knees and buried his face in his hands. "Because it wouldn't be true."

"So you do have feelings for her?" Sam took his lack of response as an affirmation. "This is really freaking you out, isn't it?"

Josh nodded slowly without lifting his face from his hands. "What do I do now?" he mumbled through his fingers.

"I don't know, buddy."

Josh looked up finally and met Sam's gaze. "I appreciate how much you care about her," he said sincerely.

"Now that you know I'm not out to seduce her, that is," Sam joked.

"Well, yeah." The two friends shared a smile. "Do you think this is a really bad idea?" Josh asked.

Sam frowned. "Professionally? Personally?"

"Both. Either. In any way."

"No." At Josh's questioning look he continued, "It couldn't possibly affect your working relationship more than it already has, right? And personally - Donna needs you. I know you think you'd be screwing things up, but she wouldn't see it that way. She's lonely, and she'd rather have you love her and deal with the emotional baggage than be alone."

"Yeah." Josh pulled himself off the couch thoughtfully. "Man, we have got to do some work today."

"No kidding." Sam opened his laptop at that signal that the conversation was over.

"Sam?" Josh asked in the doorway.

"Hmm?"

He gestured a little awkwardly. "Donna - she really loves you, you know?"

Sam smiled. "Yeah, I know."

"It's just - she said something, and she was right." Josh paused, choosing his words. "I know that you and she can love each other a lot and have it not be romantic, and I know you both need that in your lives." Sam gave him a curious look and he finished, "What I'm saying is, I'm glad she has you. And if - if this turns out to be - anything - it shouldn't change things between you and her."

Sam nodded, his smile returning. "It won't."

Josh paused before walking into his bullpen. Donna was sitting calmly at her desk, typing away at something as if her love life had not just been laid out on the table. Of course, she didn't know that it had. She reached up and brushed back a strand of fair hair and inhaled deeply, staring at the screen. He smiled a little to himself and walked in.

"Problems?"

She looked up, then reached for him, took his chin in her hands, and pulled him down to her level, scrutinizing his face.

"What are you doing?" he asked bemusedly.

"Checking for a black eye," she replied. She released him with her usual stoic but not un-cheerful expression. "I guess it went okay."

"It went fine." He stood looking at her for a moment.

"What?" she asked finally.

He shrugged. "Nothing."

"So you and Sam are fine?"

"We're fine."

"Okay." She turned back to her typing without another word or look. He had to remind himself that she wasn't being cold - she was being the way they usually acted around each other, as if nothing earth-shattering were happening. If Sam was to be believed, she had more practice at hiding her feelings than he did. On his way to his office he dropped a hand to her shoulder and squeezed it fondly. He did that not infrequently, but this time it meant that he loved her. He just hadn't decided what to do about that yet. 


	12. Still Standing 12

 

**Still Standing**

**by: Allison**

**Character(s):** Josh, Donna  
**Pairing(s):** Josh/Donna  
**Category(s):** Romance  
**Rating:** TEEN  
**Summary:** Sequel to "Great Expectations" 

* * *

The phone rang out in the bullpen. He heard Donna answer it, and then he heard a long, long, impossibly long silence. Finally the little red light on his phone flashed and Donna shouted in a suspiciously strained tone, "Congresswoman Keane!"

Frowning in confusion, he picked up the phone. "Congresswoman?"

By the time he'd completed the call and talked his way out of having his next meeting with the Congresswoman over dinner on Friday, he heard pacing sounds outside his office. He got up and opened the door, still confused. "Donna? I need you to pencil in a meeting with Liz Keane."

She dropped into her chair. "Yeah, she asked if you were free for dinner on Friday." She sounded distracted.

He rolled his eyes behind her. "Yeah, that's what she had in mind. I talked her down to four o'clock Thursday if I have the space."

Donna twisted around and looked up at him. "She asked you out and you said you'd meet with her at four on Thursday instead?"

"She didn't ask me out," he retorted.

Donna raised an eyebrow. "How many Congressmen do you meet with over Friday night dinner, Josh?" He opened his mouth to answer and she quickly amended, "Okay, over Friday night dinner that isn't takeout in the White House."

"None," he said finally. He tilted his head to one side, considering. "You think she was asking me out?"

"Wow, Josh," she said flatly. "Your skills of observation are flawless as usual."

And then he got it. The long silence before she called him to the phone, her tone, her defensive posture, everything. Of course Donna would have noticed that Liz Keane was interested in him.

"Oh," he said aloud before he could stop himself.

"Oh?" she repeated.

He decided not to explain that it wasn't 'Oh, she likes me' but rather 'Oh, that's why you hate her.' "Oh," he repeated noncommittally. "Anyway, put her down for Thursday."

She gave him a look he couldn't read. "You're sure?"

*Okay. Good words, good words... got it.* "Donna, I am not interested in dating Congresswoman Keane. Just for your future reference." He coupled this statement with a friendly rub to the back of her neck. "So set it up for four."

Her expression was still enigmatic, but he could swear she leaned into his touch just a little. "Okay," she said, looking up at him.

"Thank you." He headed back into his office.

"Oh, Josh," she called after him. "Margaret came by a minute ago. You need to meet with Leo at twelve."

"What about?"

She frowned. "Something about 502, I think."

He nodded. "Okay. Will I make my one-thirty?"

"Probably, but you'll have to eat in your office 'cause you need to do that thing first."

"What thing?"

"The thing you were going to do before lunch, except now you're meeting with Leo."

"Oh, the EPA thing?"

"Yeah."

"Okay." He leaned against the doorway. "I'll order in," he added casually. "Chinese okay with you?"

She looked up from his datebook, surprised. "Sure." He didn't often ask what she wanted, although he did usually assume that she'd be there if he had to work through lunch.

"Okay." She looked back to her computer screen then, so she missed the broad smile that spread across his face.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

"What did Leo want?"

He shrugged. "He thinks they're going to override the veto."

"We knew that, though, right?"

"Yeah, we were pretty sure." He waved the issue away. "We gave up on that one a while ago, it's just official now. Food come?"

"On your desk."

"Well, come on." He gestured for her to follow him into the office. "You've got to get me up to speed on this EPA thing before I see Liz Keane."

"She's pushing for it?" Donna asked in surprise, fishing the little white cartons out of the delivery bags.

"You wouldn't think so, but she is." He reached behind him for two bottles of iced tea from the refrigerator. "She's up for reelection next year, and the guy gearing up to run against her has the blue-collar vote at the moment."

"Oh," Donna said, understanding. "So if she votes for the new factory emissions controls -"

"Then OSHA would be forced to approve the new reductions policy or wind up with a policy that contradicts the EPA."

"Doesn't that happen all the time anyway?"

He waved a chopstick in her direction. "Daily. But in this case OSHA's hands are tied. Even if they didn't approve the reductions factories would have to follow them anyway."

"Why?"

"Because the chemicals they apply to are used as coolants, which means that it's almost impossible to keep them from getting out into the air and groundwater -"

"So even if OSHA said the old levels were okay, leakage at that level would violate the new EPA rules."

"Exactly."

She considered. "So OSHA's going to approve the reductions just so it doesn't look like the EPA has more control over workplace-related laws?"

"Yes." He slid a container of rice in her direction. "And Liz is going to push for the EPA thing so that the OSHA thing has to happen, and she can tell her constituents that it's thanks to her they're breathing in less of whatever it is."

"So what do you need to know?" she asked.

"You get those notes from Ainsley?"

"Yeah." She gestured toward a stack of papers on the floor by her feet.

"Talk to me about the wording."

She nodded and launched into speech mode. "The EPA has to prove that they're recommending the least taxing measure for businesses while still providing for safety..."

Ten minutes later Donna had exhausted her notes and they had reached the conclusion that Congress shouldn't have consitutional problems with the proposed regulations. Josh sent Donna back to Ainsley to get her take, and she began to gather papers and scrawl notes to herself in the margins.

"Josh," she asked thoughtfully as she swept the last piles together, "you don't think turning her down is going to be a problem, do you?"

He looked at her over a stack of thick books. "You mean, do I think Congresswoman Keane will pull her support for the regulations because I won't go out with her? Doubt it. She's a professional, and those regs are as important to her reelection as to ours."

"Yeah." She shook her head. "I don't know what I was thinking."

"Plus she's not exactly a Tad Whitney, if you know what I mean."

She knew. Tad Whitney had become West Wing shorthand for sleazy people who try to use personal connections to further political advancement. Donna might be a little concerned - okay, violently jealous - but she wouldn't put the Congresswoman in that category.

"So you'll tell her all this on Thursday."

"Yup." Josh grinned at her. "I could really have had you tell her for me."

"She's a good-looking woman, Josh."

As long as he lived he might never understand why she kept throwing other women at him, when the thought of him getting involved with someone obviously bothered her. Masochistic tendencies, perhaps? His smile grew wider as he stepped closer to her, thoroughly invading her personal space. "Donna," he asked just a bit below his normal tone and volume, "do I, right now, look like I want to date Elizabeth Keane?" He was inches from her face and one hand had reached out to hold onto her arm so that she couldn't back away.

Her eyes widened considerably and she could feel her face getting hot. *Please, don't let me be reading this wrong,* she prayed. "No," she managed to stammer.

"Good." He leaned forward and kissed her, briefly but hard, and pulled away before she had a chance to respond. He turned her around with his hand on her arm and patted her on the back. "Go see Ainsley."

He stood grinning at her stunned expression as she left the office.


	13. Still Standing 13

 

**Still Standing**

**by: Allison**

**Character(s):** Josh, Donna  
**Pairing(s):** Josh/Donna  
**Category(s):** Romance  
**Rating:** TEEN  
**Summary:** Sequel to "Great Expectations" 

* * *

The grin had faded somewhat from Josh's face by the time he sat down to wait for his one-thirty appointment. He was rather counting on the fact that Donna wasn't going to react badly in some way - who knew, with her. Speaking of which... he flipped anxiously through the papers on his desk, trying to remember who his one-thirty was actually with. He knew Congressman Barker had cancelled and was sending a substitute...

Someone clearing his or her throat in his doorway made him look up. A pleased smile replaced his worried expression momentarily. "Congresswoman! Nice to see you."

"Call me Andy." Congresswoman Wyatt returned his smile as she slid into a chair. "You forgot I was replacing Barker, didn't you?"

"No," he said unconvincingly.

She laughed. "Where's Donna?"

"Down talking to a Republican lawyer," he said, striving for casual and coming off hasty and nervous instead. "What can I do for you?"

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

"Donna!" Ainsley actually sounded pleased to see her - in the past weeks they'd started to bond a little, although Donna was still a bit disturbed by their uncanny resemblance. "Josh send you down with his questions?"

At that point Ainsley noticed that Donna was not only not answering, she looked positively frozen. "Donna?" she repeated.

"Sorry," Donna replied, shaking herself. "I - I guess I kind of zoned there."

"You haven't come back yet," Ainsley observed dryly. "Something going on up there?"

"No!" Donna replied emphatically. "Nothing's going on. Nothing's going on anywhere."

"Uh-huh." The other woman scrutinized her carefully. "What did Josh say?"

"Nothing!" Donna said quickly. "He didn't say anything! What makes you think he said something?"

Ainsley's eyebrow arched questioningly. "About the EPA? That is why you're here?"

"Oh," Donna exhaled in relief. "That. Yeah, he said -"

"Hang on a second," Ainsley interrupted. "I want to know about the other thing."

"The - other - thing?" Donna stammered.

"Uh-huh." Ainsley leaned over her desk, preparing her attack. "The thing you were so nervous about. The thing Josh 'didn't' do."

"There's nothing he didn't do!" Donna cried before she thought. "I mean \- you know what I mean. There are lots of things he didn't do. I mean -"

"What did he say?" Ainsley pressed.

"He didn't *say* anything." Too late Donna realized she'd put the emphasis in the wrong place there.

Like any good lawyer Ainsley jumped on the error. "He didn't say anything - so he did something?"

Donna froze in horror.

"Donna!" Ainsley exclaimed.

"Can we talk about the EPA please?" Donna was practically faint. "Josh has to meet with someone tomorrow..."

"Okay." Ainsley gave her one last suspicious look. "Tell me what he decided..."

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

When Donna returned upstairs - slowly, because she hadn't quite decided what to say or do and was dreading the encounter - she passed Andrea Wyatt on her way out. The women greeted each other briefly, but at least that gave her something concrete to say. Right. Deny everything. That was going to be the strategy. He'd probably meant the kiss in some bizarre Josh friendship way, anyhow. No sense getting all worked up.

Right.

She rapped on the door, waited for his "come in," and entered as calmly as she could manage. "Did you remember Congresswoman Wyatt was coming?" she asked, trying to control the tremble in her voice.

"No, I forgot who was replacing Barker." When he glanced up at her she noticed that he looked a little pale and nervous himself. Hmm. "You knocked," he commented.

She looked confused. "Sorry?"

"You knocked on my door. You never knock. You fling the door open with a complete disregard for my physical safety."

"I have plenty of regard for your physical safety," she replied automatically. The banter was basically a knee-jerk response with them, emotions regardless.

"Sure you do." He observed her nervousness and made a decision. *Here we go. Let's hope she's still anti-litigation.* He got up and very calmly - those acting classes in college really paid off sometimes - walked around her and pushed the door closed.

"How did the meeting go?" she asked, watching him. Her voice sounded weak and strained. He tried not to smile.

"It went fine," he replied, sitting on the edge of his desk about two feet in front of her. "Barker probably doesn't know that Andrea only half agrees with him, but hey, who am I to argue. I agree with Andrea."

"That's good," she commented, not sounding any better. It was painfully obvious that her mind was not on the political conversation, and that both of them knew it.

"That's not what you came in here to talk to me about," he said.

She stared. *Oh God. He wants to talk. This is not good. This is really not good. He thinks I think he meant - wait. Maybe he did mean - no. Oh, this is not good.*

"Donna?"

She realized she'd lost track of time. A lump formed in her throat. "Yes?"

She was so sure he was about to tell her she was delusional that she had to ask him to repeat himself.

Working furiously to keep his smile under control, he repeated slowly, "What did Ainsley say?"

"Oh!" She shook her head for the second time that afternoon, finding her composure from somewhere. "She says you're right. We're fine."

"That's all?"

"There were details." She waved her hand at him. "I have index cards."

"Naturally." His hand brushed hers as he took them from her, and she nearly fainted from the tension and stress.

He furrowed his brow and looked curiously at her. "Donna, you seem a little - disturbed."

"I do?" Her voice hadn't been that high since she'd sung soprano in the church choir.

"Uh-huh."

"I'm not disturbed."

"You look disturbed."

"I'm not disturbed."

"Okay." He stood and closed the distance between them, taking an extra step as she tried to back away and closing his hands on her forearms.

"What are you doing?" she asked, her eyes wide.

"I would think that would be fairly obvious," he replied, stroking her arms with his thumbs without loosening his hold.

Her chest rose and fell in deep breaths. She looked - panicked. "Are you sure that's a good idea?"

"You're sure you're not disturbed?"

"I'm not disturbed," she maintained, although she figured the ship had pretty much sailed on that one.

"Okay then."

She would have thought the earlier one had prepared her for the shock of having his lips suddenly pressed to hers, but as it turned out she wasn't quite desensitized yet. Yet. As if there ever would be a time when she wouldn't be -

And then he actually moved, and took hold of her lower lip between both of his, and she couldn't hold back a little cry of surprise. And then she was kissing him back - enthusiastically - and her hands flew to his back and the back of his head and tried to pull him closer, and the little kiss in her bed on New Year's had nothing on this one.

Josh found his knees about to buckle. His hands slipped around to the back of Donna's neck and her waist, as much to keep both of them standing as for any other reason. *And I thought it would be weird to touch my assistant? Ha!* He admitted to himself - as much as he was capable of rational thought while part of his mind was discovering how her lips clung to his - that this did feel just a little odd. When he forced himself to remember that it was Donna - young, insane, casual, frequently irritating Donna - that he was kissing with such fervor, he did feel a certain surreal quality. But that took a big second to the sensations he was currently enjoying.

It occurred to him, while her mouth moved responsively under his and he tried to pull her even closer, that there were two entirely different kinds of passionate kisses. There was the kind where you'd been flirting with someone for hours or days or weeks and you finally gave in, and the kiss was a tension-breaking desperate fumble, with hands and tongues and wordless sounds intended to communicate the fact that this was working up to sex. Physical passion. Chemistry. Then there was the kind where you really didn't intend to go anywhere near sex just yet, but once you started kissing the emotions ran so high that the kiss got intense fast, where neither of you had any idea where this was leading, neither of you could think about much of anything, and the fierceness and passion came from a gut-wrenching need to be close in any way possible. Passion that came out of deep need and emotion.

This was definitely the second kind.


	14. Still Standing 14

 

**Still Standing**

**by: Allison**

**Character(s):** Josh, Donna  
**Pairing(s):** Josh/Donna  
**Category(s):** Romance  
**Rating:** TEEN  
**Summary:** Sequel to "Great Expectations" 

* * *

For a moment the hard banging sound didn't register, but when it did Donna pulled back - ignoring Josh's moan of protest - and looked at him with slightly widened eyes. "Didn't you close the door?" she asked.

Confused and more than a little off-balance, he looked at her blankly while stroking her hair back from her face. Now that he'd started he found it hard not to touch her. "Yeah, why?"

She glanced over, alarmed, at the object in question. "Then how did it just slam?"

Still dazed, he replied absently, "I guess someone must have opened it and then closed it again." His own words sank in and his eyes widened to match hers. "Oh, no."

As one their heads swiveled to look at the door. A tentative knock sounded.

"Yes?" Josh asked after clearing his throat nervously. *Please not Leo, please not Leo, anyone but Leo . . .*

"Josh?"

Both their faces blanched. He looked at Donna in horror. *I was wrong. This is worse than Leo.*

"Yes?" he replied again, trying to keep his voice steady.

"I'm coming in now." There was a long pause. "Okay?" Her accent came through clearer when she was nervous or embarrassed. *She can't be half as much either of them as I am right now.*

"Come in," he sighed, stepping back from Donna, who scurried instantly to the other side of the room. He hated to tell her that it probably didn't much matter at that point.

The door opened a crack and Ainsley slowly leaned her head around it.

"You can come in, Ainsley," Josh said resignedly. "You've given us sufficient warning."

"I would like to point out," the lawyer drawled, tapping a file folder against her thigh and pushing the door closed conscientiously, "that while I did not see anything at all happening in your office just now, if I had I would tell you that it's not illegal but that you should probably avoid doing it in your office just in case I was Leo."

Donna whimpered and buried her face in her hands as she sank onto the couch. Josh looked back from her to Ainsley and said with as much dignity as he could muster, "Thank you for not being Leo. And for, you know, not standing there with the door open before we noticed you."

A wry smile crept across Ainsley's face. "Josh, I think I could have stood there with the door open for twenty minutes and you wouldn't have noticed me."

A strangled groan came from Donna on the couch. Ainsley laughed and tossed the file folder onto Josh's desk before sitting down next to his flushed assistant. "Donna, it's fine. I'm not going to tell anyone."

Donna spoke carefully without removing her hands from her face. "I would like you to know that this has never happened before. I'm not some unprofessional office slut who -"

"I know that," Ainsley replied, still laughing. "It's really okay." She turned back to Josh. "I came to bring you the corrections on the groundwater leakage history - we had one of the acts documented in the wrong year and you know they'd try to kill us with it. So I'm going to leave this folder with you and go back down to my office and leave you to - whatever."

"There will be no whatever!" Josh declared vehemently. "No whatever -"

"Whatsoever?" Ainsley finished, unable to control her sly laughter. "Okay. Just, you know, you might want to consider standing up against the door. Just a thought." She grinned at Donna as she left. "We are so going to talk later."

Donna just groaned again. After a long moment of silence she realized that Josh was - well, too quiet. She looked up and saw him standing with his back flat against the door. "What are you doing?" she asked.

He grinned. "Clearly, I'm standing against the door."

"Josh -"

"She's a smart girl, you know?"

Donna raised an eyebrow. "Do you really think this is a good idea at the moment?"

He frowned for a second, then smiled again. "Can't think of a better one. Come here."

"Don't you think we should talk, or something?" she asked, but she stood up.

"Talk? In my office?" A look of mock horror spread across his face. "Donna! Someone might hear."

She couldn't keep a tiny smile off her face, but she was still concerned. "Still, Josh, I don't think -"

"We will talk," he said, reaching out a hand to take hers and pull her nearer. "Tonight. Somewhere else. But for right now, I was interrupted - by a Republican, no less - and I feel that I need some closure."

"You like her!" Donna said, now grinning broadly. "Josh Lyman likes a Republican. You think she's nice. I never thought I'd see the day."

"Can we not talk about Ainsley right now?"

"I knew it."

"Donna . . ."

"I'm right!"

"Donna . . ."

"I'm not complaining, I think she's nice too."

"Donna . . ."

"I mean, she's always very -" Her sentence ended abruptly with a little smothered sigh.

A long minute later Josh murmured, "Too bad I can't do that out in the bullpen."

"Shut up," she said firmly, pulling his head back down to hers.

"I should have a look at Ainsley's corrections," he said a while later, pulling away from her to kiss her forehead, her eyelids, and the bridge of her nose in careful succession.

"Now who's talking about Ainsley?" she asked, smiling and ruffling the back of his hair with both hands.

"Seriously though," he added, kissing his way distractingly down her neck toward the tantalizing corner of black camisole showing at her unbuttoned shirt collar, "we will talk later."

"Okay," Donna replied, unable to do much other than hold on tightly to his arms and stretch her head back to give him better access.

"Dinner," he said, straightening up after one last lingering kiss to her collarbone. "We'll go to dinner, and then we'll talk."

She nodded. "Okay."

He took her face between both his hands and looked at her carefully. "I don't want to screw this up. Whatever this is."

She looked back at him with a slight smile playing at the corners of her mouth. "Me either."

"Okay." Still holding her face gently, he leaned forward and kissed her again. They separated after just a moment, and then in wordless agreement wrapped their arms around each other in a tight embrace. Josh cupped his hand protectively over the back of her head resting on his shoulder and reflected that an emotional embrace could very often be more intimate than a kiss. Any two people who were attracted to one another could start wrestling on the dance floor in a bar and it would be considered a kiss. But only two people who felt a real affection for one another would want to stand like this, to hold each other this tightly, and be content just to feel the warmth and breathe in the gentle scent of the other. This felt like the ultimate confession. From the way her arms tightened around him before they parted, he would guess she agreed. 


End file.
